About Those Heels

A couple of readers commented about my new shoes. I know a lot of sissies and their owners have a fetish about high heels. They don't do much for in that regard and that doesn't seem to be something Miss Emily cares much about either.

It seems to me that she is training me to be her wife and maid and hasn't adopted many of the things common on the internet regarding the dressing of a sissy, except of course the maid's uniforms. lol.

I might be totally wrong. Maybe someday I will be wearing five inch heels. But it doesn't seem that way.

Not that what I think will matter much. What she wants is all that matters.

<curtsy>

One More Day

Friday is the big day. My first date with a man. I am trying hard not to think about it all the time but it's not easy. Other than more practice in the three-inch heels, Miss Emily didn't mention it last night. She didn't have to.

I woke up several times and all that I could think about was what might happen. I thought about the first time I had a date with Miss Emily. My feelings were similar except of course I had always dreamed of dating a woman as beautiful as she is.

But there's not changing her plans. I will be on a date tomorrow. I hope I'm not to shy to even speak. I can get that way and it might disappoint Miss Emily.

I almost wish today was over so I could stop wondering.

<curtsy>

New Shoes

The new shoes I got for my date have a three inch heel. That's higher than I have worn before. The first time put them on I thought I was going to fall over. And when I did stand straight I felt so tall. It was very strange.

Walking in them was difficult. So Miss Emily had me practice last night. Small steps. Roll my hips. Over and over. I was so sore after just a short time of practicing.But she kept me walking for two hours. I was never so ready for bed.

I am still sore but wearing my usual shoes today. I am getting nervous thinking about Friday night. Will he want to kiss me? Will I like it? I've never kissed a man.

I was chatting with a friend earlier and she said she thought I was going to find out what it's like. I think she's correct.

My stomach churns at the the thought.

<curtsy>

Girly Stuff

It struck me today when I was talking to Misty that I have lot of girly stuff in my head. More than I realized.

Why I'm surprised I am not really sure. Obviously Mss Emily has been training me to be her maid and wife. There's nothing many about that. But I didn't know I could discuss bubble baths and hair products with hardly a thought.

I know that Miss Emily has been having the girl who does my hair talk to me about things like that, as well as makeup. I never knew I had a spring skin tone. I just thought I was pale.

Other girly things came about through practice, like walking, sitting properly and even how to hold my arms.

And then there's my room. Miss Emily had it redone but I didn't see it until after we got married. It was kind of a shock. Maybe that was the point. It's all pink and white with lace curtains and bedspread. That was quite a change. But now it is my own space. Well, kind of. Miss Emily can come in anytime she wants.

She is the only one who is allowed real privacy.

<curtsy>

How Does She Do That?

Yesterday was a quieter day after the weekend. I did receive a nice surprise late in the afternoon when a dozen pink and yellow roses were delivered. They were from Miss Emily, with a lovely note. I was blushing and grinning.

But I also was exhausted from the weekend. Miss Emily was getting home late so I went to bed early. I slept almost 10 hours. In fact, I almost overslept. I can imagine how annoyed she would have been if that had happened.

Maybe it didn't matter. This morning she was back to being very cool toward me. I was a servant, not so much a wife. I was still floating along and somehow she was able to flip some switch and be that way.

I often wonder how she does that. My only mode seems to be to please her, or at least try. I never am quite sure how she will treat me. I think it keeps me off balance.

This morning she noticed a drop of coffee on the kitchen counter. She was not pleased as she called the kitchen "filthy." She doesn't angry or yell. But the tone of her voice lets me know I have displeased her. I don't think there's any worse feeling.

So I scrubbed the kitchen, even cleaning the refrigerator and the stove. I hope she notices but I somehow doubt she will. While it always feels better when she does notice, I know it doesn't really matter.

<curtsy>

Treated Like a Wife

Jack left after I served breakfast to him and Miss Emily on Sunday morning. I was in a daze. I was tired and I really didn't have many thoughts in my head. Once in a while I'd remember how his cock felt in my mouth when he came.

Since it was Father's Day we went to Miss Emily's parents house for dinner. It was a relaxing day and I was dressed in pink short shorts and a white tank top with pink trim. It was nice to be a wife more than a maid, although I did help with serving dinner and doing the dishes.

When we got home I received a treat when Mss Emily said she wanted me to stay up while she did some work in her home office. She finished up and called me to come to the den. She wanted to watch basketball (I'll never get the sports thing lol!). She had me on the couch next to her.

Usually I would be at her feet and if I'm luck I'd be allowed to worship them. This time she had her arm around me. I was so tired form the long weekend that soon I had my head in her lap as she cradled it.

I could feel her fingers in my hair. It was so peaceful and I felt so peaceful. I guess she got bored with the game because she turned the TV off and led me to her bedroom. She kissed me hard and I felt week. I could feel the strength in her.

I knew was going to get her strap-on and that she would use me. I was excited. It was like my sleepiness was gone.

She did fuck me and hard. She had me begging for more. She doesn't ask me to beg for that it just seems to happen. I was still locked in my chastity device but i could feel the dripping.

Finally she was finished. She allowed me to sleep with her in her bed. And when I awoke she had left for work. That is rare.

Somehow she knew exactly what I needed.

How does she do that?

<curtsy>

Cucking and Sucking

The rest of my weekend was quite intense. Jack stayed over again on Saturday. When I think back to Friday and Saturday I can't quite believe how much cum I swallowed. It's enough to make a sissy turn beet red.

It seems like he is always able to get hard and she seemed to never get fucked by him often enough. And then something new happened. After I had cleaned her I started to lick his cock clean.

I'll never get over how big he is or how he starts to get hard again so soon after he has an orgasm. This time Miss Emily instructed me to start on his balls. They seem huge to me. Much bigger than mine. I was told to suck them. That really felt strange.

Then I licked his cock and took it in my mouth. I could still taste her on. That excites me so much. I could feel my clit dripping in my panties. I could feel him getting harder.

I was going to stop as I had in the past but as I started to pull my mouth up I felt his hands on the back of my head. I ket sucking as he let go.

My jaw was getting sore. I could feel him getting harder. Then I felt his hands on my head again. I felt so small as he started to move his cock in an out of my mouth. And then I felt him tense. I knew he was about to cum. In my mouth. I'd never swallowed it like that before.

And then he came. It wasn't a huge load but it was hot and sticky. I swallowed to keep from gagging.

The he pushed me away. His cock slapped my nose. A drop of cum landed on my cheek.

I heard her laugh and say "you are such a little cum slut."

I know I blushed.

I find it amazing that when I am in the moment doing these things it feels natural. Later it embarrasses me.

Sunday was completely different, filled with a family visit and a night in which I was more wife than cuckold. I'll write about that later today.

<curtsy>

Nagging Questions?

One of my readers offered his (or is it hers? hard to day since the comment was anonymous) thoughts about my relationship with Miss Emily.

I admit I was shocked. Maybe I have not been clear enough about I fell about her. I adore her.  love her. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. Serving her needs comes naturally.

Despite that I do question myself. I always have. I don't know if that will ever change. Add to that the fact that I am coming to terms with the fact that I am better off as a wife and servant and I just can't help feeling what I am doing is against the way I was brought up.

For most of my life I imagined having a wife and a job and a family. But from the first time I met Miss Emily I wanted something else. She understood me better than I understood myself. It was so easy to be with her and to let her lead.

We have talked many times about our relationship. My place is clear as is hers. I tell her when I am upset or concerned or confused. I know she loves me by the way she cares for my feelings. That doesn't mean she does what I want her to do but she is aware of my safety and emotional well-being.

Having read about female-led relationships on the internet, I know what I have found is rare and beautiful. But I also know that is a long process for a sissy like me to accept the truth about herself.

I adore Miss Emily for showing me the way.

<curtsy>

More Cuckolding Thoughts

Last night was both difficult and exciting. As I mentioned in my last post, Miss Emily invited Jack over to watch the hockey game. I had little doubt he would spend the night. I'm still not used to being a cuckold. I wonder if I ever will be.

I can't deny how happy she is when they have sex. And I can't deny the mix of emotions her having sex with Jack causes me to feel. This time there was something new. He acted liked he belonged here. He's just so comfortable being with her just watching TV and talking.

All the while I know my places is as a maid. Maybe I should be used to all that by now. But I guess I'm not. Despite wondering if I really am destined to be a maid I can't help obeying Miss Emily and Jack.

I felt like I was in a daze as I brought them drinks and snacks. I felt like my mind was trying not to notice how close they were sitting and how often he kissed her. Then when there was a break in the game I was summoned to kneel before them.

I can't quite understand what was happening. Jack was giving the orders. That had happened a few times before. But I looked over at Miss Emily. She was so intense as she watched. I knew whatever was going to happen was important to her.

I was conflicted. I became very nervous and wanted to crawl in a hold. Hide. But I didn't want to disappoint her. I'll never understand how I can feel those things at the same time.

My task was simple. Strip him so he could, as put it, "satisfy your mistress sin ways you never could."

That made me feel so small. Mistress isn't a word Miss Emily ever used but I guess it fits. And I know what he said is true, but t still hurts for some reason.

I undressed him, starting with his shoes as I was told in earlier times he was here. I didn't forget to kiss each shoe before removing it. I was blushing the whole time. When I removed his pants I could see the outline of his hard cock against his boxers.

When I pulled them down the tip slapped my cheek. Miss Emily helped him take his shirt off. I sucked his cock to get him ready for her, planting a kiss on the tip first as she had taught me with her strapon.

I felt like I was a robot. But was excited. I felt a hand on my head and then a whisper in my ear. It was Miss Emily telling me I was being a good sissy.

I was pushed aside and Jack sat on the couch with Miss Emily mounting him. I watched as they fucked. It was hard and it was fast. She was cumming quickly. She must have been so ready for him.

Sone he was cumming. She sat there kissing him hard on the mouth. She was still wearing a T-shirt and nothing else.

As seems to be "normal" now I cleaned them both. She was so wet with his cum and her own juices. His cock was slick. I love the way it feels in my mouth. So hard and so soft at the same time. There's something I never expected to think about.

She slipped her panties on and he dressed with my help. She put her head on his shoulder as they watched the rest of the game.

They had sex twice more. Once before they slept and once this morning.

I admit to being confused now. Is he replacing me? She says she loves and adores me. But I have never seen her look like she does when he is fucking her hard.

Today they went to play tennis. I changed the sheets and cleaned her bathroom.

Something seems different but what it means I really don't know.

That seems to be the way things are for me in Miss Emily's world.

<curtsy>

Cuckolding and Jealousy

Maybe I'll never really get used to the idea of Miss Emily dating Jack. I can't deny that seeing her with him gets me excited. I know deep down I could never satisfy her the way he does. His cock is so much bigger,

The look on her face when he fucks her is something I'd never seen before. That made me jealous. But now something else has me feeling that way.

Tonight Jack is coming over to watch hockey. I don't know why but the idea of just watching TV with her makes me feel blue. I guess I am not even adequate for that. Of course, I know he'll probably do more than watch sports with her.

It's hard to express exactly what I feel about all this. I think years of keeping everything inside have made me reluctant to share those kinds of things.

And then there's the fact that since I found out about tonight's guest I haven't been able to stop thinking about his cock. It's so big and thick.

Am I so easy to manipulate that she has me thinking like a slut? I guess I am.

<curtsy.

At Her Feet

For one night there was no hockey. I was glad of that, but Miss Emily tells me there's a game tonight. I know here her attention will be.

But at least night she was in a good mood and allowed me to curl up on the floor while she watched TV after dinner. Don't even ask me what she was watching because I was too content being near her to care.

Not only was I at her feet, Miss Emily allowed me to worship them. I love the feel of her skin against my lips. Her feet are so beautiful. Isn't it strange that I feel lucky to be allowed to even touch them?

After I kissed and rubbed her feet she had me paint her nails. She chose a royal purple color, one of her favorites. I always take my time to make sure each nail looks perfect.

I was so excited I couldn't help hoping I would be allowed to cum. But I knew it wouldn't happen. Of course that didn't mean she wouldn't find satisfaction. Miss Emily masturbated when I had finished her nails.

I really wanted to taste her but she was content to have me watch her. It's so exciting and frustrating when she does that. But I am sure she knows that.

<curtsy>

Serving Others

Last night Miss Emily was home and that meant I was back to being a maid. This time, we weren't alone. She invited her sister over for dinner and to watch the hockey game. Her sister is every bit the dominant that Miss Emily is. She finds it amusing to out me on the spot.

Last night was no exception. Miss Emily had ordered me to dress in my French maid's uniform. That isn't unusual when company is over. When I answered the door i curtsied as I have been taught. I have spent hours practicing the correct way to show respect. But my curtsy wasn't good enough for Miss Amanda.

"is it the best you can do?" were her first words to me. She made me do it over ten times until she said "I suppose that will have to do." I can't explain how humiliating this was and how near to tears to I was. I was sure Miss Emily would be disappointed in me. But Miss Amanda didn't say anything, at least that I heard.

I served them dinner. I had prepared steak, asparagus and baked potatoes (which must be cooked in the oven not the microwave). Other than pouring wine and clearing dishes I was ignored as they talked the way sisters who are close do.

As always, my dinner, a salad and small slice of steak, waited until after they had finished. While they watched the game they continued to drink wine. Miss Amanda enjoys making me uncomfortable. At one point, she asked me how I felt about being a cuckold.

That was the first I knew that Miss Emily had shared that with her. I was kind of in shock I think. I couldn't think what to say. I looked to Miss Emily hoping she'd rescue me from having to answer. All I saw was the look she can give me that I know means I'd better obey.

I told her I was happy for Miss Emily and her desires were all that mattered. Miss Amanda said "You are fucking sissy." They both laughed.

I wanted to crawl in a hole. Yet I could fell a wet spot on my panties. I felt so pathetic.

The rest of the night they watched the game and I filled their wine glasses. Miss Amanda was a little drunk and Miss Emily insisted she stay in the guest room.

This morning I washed her clothes before she awoke and served her breakfast before she left for work. Miss Emily had left earlier.

I'll never understand why being treated like a servant excites me, but it does. sigh.

<curtsy>

A Servant Again

Miss Emily is finally back home after a business trip and much excitement about hockey. I'll never understand why people get so excited about sports. But she loves watching. So sometimes I watch, too. This was different though. This time she went to the games, In Los Angeles and New York, while I was home.

Last night I put on my French maid's uniform and put my hair up. I wanted to impress her. So what happened? She barely gave me a thought. Oh, I could see a look in her eyes of amusement when she first walked through the door. But for the evening I was her servant. She was cool and distant. Inside I was so excited she was home.

For some reason the more she treats me like a maid the more I need to please her. I guess she knows that. I'll never quite understand the relationship we have or why we both seem to crave it. Well, I know I crave her attention.

I am not quite sure what she craves, except for my submission. She has that. But no matter how hard I try to please her I fell like it's never enough. I wish I could be content more of the time.

<curtsy>

Not Always Easy

Getting used to all the changes that have occurred since I met Miss Emily is not always easy. Sometimes I can't believe that I have not fought them

I think the most difficult thing is the way people look at me in public. I think I expected people to stare and look at me like I was strange. But I never expected men to flirt with me. Not all men. It's only happened openly a couple times. I doubt I've ever blushed more.

The most recent time it happened was in the grocery store. An older man who was maybe in his 50s or 60s saw me reaching for an item on the top shelf. He came over and got it for me. That would have been sweet, but he had his arm around me and called me "sweetheart." I was embarrassed.

I only blushed harder when he asked if he could take me to lunch sometime. He told me how much he enjoyed being with "special girls." I could barely speak but stammered out that I was married.

I don't know what to think about the encounter. I know it was a compliment but I never thought of being with men really.

Miss Emily said I should get used to such attention.

<curtsy>

On My Own, Sort of

Miss Emily is way on business this week. She won't be back until late Sunday. Usually when she's away she makes sure others are watching me. Her friend Amy or her mom or sisters. This time I am on my own.

I did have my hair done yesterday. It's no longer permed and the color is a lighter blonde now. It's strange being alone. I can stay up later and there's less housework to do. Certainly the laundry is done. And that's a relief after the washing machine broke. Besides the flood I had to clean up the dirty clothes piled up until a new one was delivered.

So here I am on my own. Except Miss Emily is always with me. If I am ever tempted to break some rule or another I can feel her disapproval. For some reason that comforts me. Isn't that strange.

<curtsy>

Commitment and Consequences

I was thinking about my post from yesterday and I realized that my second thoughts about being a sissy wife/servant brought a change to my relationship with Miss Emily.

I don';t think I even realized it for a long time, but after she called and forgave me her power over me was much greater. She exerted her control in new ways. I guess she knew I wouldn't dare disobey her.

Until that time I only wore panties when I was at her home. The day after I came back she gave me a gift. It was ten pairs of panties. She told me she wanted me to wear them at all times. I admit I swallowed hard. Maybe I should have know it would happen one day, but it seemed like such a big step.

As instructed I tossed all my male underwear in the garbage when I went home that night. I didn't have second thoughts. I was starting to really trust her. Or maybe I was afraid she'd leave me. I often wonder why she'd want me at all.

Looking back I can see that Miss Emily really took charge from that day. I wasn't expecting to wear a maid's uniform or live the life I am leading now. But since the wedding there's been no turning back.

I just have to keep trusting that she knows best.

<curtsy>

Committing to the Sissy Life

It might sounds strange but there was a time when I wasn't so sure I could be a sissy wife and maid. I had dreamed of being a man with a job and a wife and kids.  And even after Miss Emily started me on this path I was reluctant.

I even had second thoughts about spending my life as a servant after Miss Emily prosed to me. Of course I said yes when she asked me. I was in total shock. I had never thought she would want me. The proposal was romantic. She took me to dinner at a fancy restaurant. The kind of place I never went before I met her.

After dessert she asked me if I would be her sissy wife and maid. She gave me a box that contained a diamond anklet. I couldn't even think. I said yes. I spent that night in her bed pleasing her with my tongue. She even used her hand to stroke me to an orgasm.

But over the next couple of weeks I began to doubt that I wanted to be a sissy.She'd later said I was silly and in denial. I guess looking back it's true. I was wearing and the panties she had bought for me when I told her my doubts.

She was calm. She told me she wanted me to go home and think hard about it. Her calmness scared me even more I think. She told me not to contact her. She would call me.

Maybe I hadn't thought it through at all. After a week I knew I had made a mistake. Then I was sure she would never call me. I cried a lot and beat myself up. I endured another week before she called.

I wanted to be cool about it but instead I was begging her to forgive me. Her voice was light when she told me to get over to her home.

I did, wearing pink boy shorts, the anklet. I wore khakis and a white shirt. She never liked me in jeans. I wanted to please her so much at that moment.

I was barely in the door when I found myself on my knees begging her to take me back.

She did, obviously.

She told me all I needed to do was has trust that she new what was best for me. That's not always easy even though I know she's right. She always is.

<curtsy>

Poked, Prodded and Measured

Talk about total embarrassment! Today I went to the doctor for a physical, my first since starting my life as Mis Emily's sissy wife.

The office was professional and there were no other patients when we arrived. The receptionist checked us in and we waited only a couple minutes before the nurse called my name. She was in her 30s I'd guess and paid no attention to fact that I was a male dressed in capri slacks, a blouse a and wore makeup.

I followed to an examination room where I was instructed to strip to my panties and wait. Sitting there I realized I was still wearing my chastity cage. I felt embarrassed just thinking about the doctor seeing it.

The nurse cam back and weighed and measured me. I was relieved that I was down to 130 pounds. I knew Miss Emily would be pleased. Then I was left alone again.

Finally the door opened and the doctor walked in followed by Miss Emily. I hadn't expected that but maybe I should have. She did set up the appointment.

The doctor was a woman, in her mid to late 30s. She introduced herself and got down to business. She proceeded to poke prod and measure me. Miss Emily gave her the key to my chastity cage. My clit was measured. It was 2 5/8 inches soft.

All the communication was between the doctor and Mis sEmily. They talked about me like I wasn't even there. That made me feel small and insignificant, like a child. I should be used to that by now, but sometimes it still surprises me.

Then the real humiliation started. I was directed to lie on the table and put my feet in the stirrups. I'd never knew about this kind of exam. I learned. Wearing a rubber glove and using some lube the doctor put her index finger inside me. I was squirming as she moved it around.

All the while she was talking to Miss Emily in a professional manner about how often I am allowed to cum and how feminine I am. I thought I was turning deep red. I closed my eyes and wished I was somewhere else.

I heard Miss Emily laugh. I brought my attention back to the doctor's voice. I heard her talikng about how I was already dribbling cum from my clit. She asked if this was as hard as I could get. Miss Emily said that was "all there was." I could hear the laugh in her voice. I felt so ashamed.

Next thing I knew the doctor had removed her finger and was measuring my hard clit. It was 3 7/8 inches. I heard the doctor tell Miss Emily it was smallest of all her sissy patients. Could my cheeks feel any hotter?

The rest of the exam was routine except for a question the doctor asked Miss Emily. She told her I was good candidate for hormones and wondered if Miss Emily was planning to to that. The answer I heard through my foggy brain was that she wasn't sure.

I felt my stomach do flip flops and I really thought I might faint. I was wobbly as I dressed and they talked. I know i am Miss Emily's sissy wife and maid, but hormones are so, I don't know, permanent. The idea scares me.

<curtsy>

Emily's 2nd Date Continued

As time has passed since Miss Emily's 2nd date with Jack the details of it seem less important than what I felt and still feel.

Yes she spent the night. Yes I watched her have sex with him. She had that look I'd never seen before. She locked my eyes while I watched them. I was embarrassed and jealous and my penis was dripping in its cage.

Cleaning them both after he came added to my humiliation. It was clear I was a servant, there to amuse them both. Being dismissed to wash his clothes so they'd be ready in the morning added to the feeling I had of being small and insignificant.

Passing her bedroom door later I could hear them having sex again. I'm not sure if it was worse watching or being excluded. Isn't that strange?

I didn't sleep well. I kept thinking about that look on Miss Emily's face. And I thought of the taste of the cum as I cleaned her pussy and his cock.

The next morning I awoke late and found them eating breakfast in the kitchen. They were both relaxed and smiling. I felt like an outsider. They mostly ignored me as they chatted, ate and kissed at times.

It was after 11 when they said their goodbyes. A passionate kiss at the door made me jealous all over again. Hearing her called "darling" added to the feeling.

After I cleaned up the breakfast dishes, Miss Emily called me into her bedroom. She told me she was proud of me. Why does hearing that make all this seem worth it? 

Then she surprised me by unlocking my chastity cage. She told she wanted me to play with my "tiny cockette." I was allowed to cum when she gave me the word. She handed me the small plastic plate that she has trained me to cum on.

While I masturbated she talked about how good it felt to be fucked by Jack. She told me to remember how his cock felt in my mouth. I was almost crying and still I was hard. Finally she gave me the word. I spurted my "sissy juice" as she calls it onto the plate. I knew to lick it all up.

She looked so pleased. I cried.

<curtsy>

More Change

I thought I was going back to Miss Emily's mother's tonight, but that has changed. I will staying home tonight and then I will be going to Miss Emily's sister's home. I've never stayed there before, but I was told to pack my uniforms. So it looks like I will be performing maid service.

I have never been at Miss Katherine's home overnight so I don't know what to expect. She is dominant like Miss Emily but she never pays much attention to me. I don't think she thinks much of sissies.

I am not sure how long I'll be there, but Miss Emily told me she expects me to be a good girl and that if she gets a good report about my behavior she might allow me to cum. It's been since our honeymoon. I am going to try to be good.

<curtsy>