So Close

Only a few more hours till I go on my first date with a man. There's a lot to do before including an appointment at the salon at 2. I never quite know what Miss Emily has set up for me there but I am sure I will get a new hairstyle and maybe some pampering.

I remember the first trip to to the salon. I was so nervous. The women there were nice and I guess a couple of them have become friends. One of them Alex, whose only a little older than me, says we have so much in common. That still surprises me.

But as I sit here with bra filled out and thinking about going on a date it's harder to deny.

Maybe I will be able to put this out of my mind while I do the laundry and then get ready for tonight. I sure hope so.

<curtsy>

One More Day

Friday is the big day. My first date with a man. I am trying hard not to think about it all the time but it's not easy. Other than more practice in the three-inch heels, Miss Emily didn't mention it last night. She didn't have to.

I woke up several times and all that I could think about was what might happen. I thought about the first time I had a date with Miss Emily. My feelings were similar except of course I had always dreamed of dating a woman as beautiful as she is.

But there's not changing her plans. I will be on a date tomorrow. I hope I'm not to shy to even speak. I can get that way and it might disappoint Miss Emily.

I almost wish today was over so I could stop wondering.

<curtsy>

New Shoes

The new shoes I got for my date have a three inch heel. That's higher than I have worn before. The first time put them on I thought I was going to fall over. And when I did stand straight I felt so tall. It was very strange.

Walking in them was difficult. So Miss Emily had me practice last night. Small steps. Roll my hips. Over and over. I was so sore after just a short time of practicing.But she kept me walking for two hours. I was never so ready for bed.

I am still sore but wearing my usual shoes today. I am getting nervous thinking about Friday night. Will he want to kiss me? Will I like it? I've never kissed a man.

I was chatting with a friend earlier and she said she thought I was going to find out what it's like. I think she's correct.

My stomach churns at the the thought.

<curtsy>

What is Family?

I was thinking about how my whole world really revolves around Miss Emily. It made me think about mom and my sister.

I haven't written much about them or my childhood. I was never very happy. I wasn't abused or anything like that, but I never fit anywhere. Not at school or really at home. Mom raised us but she was always busty with work or whatever and I was left alone a lot.

Now she is moving away with her boyfriend. I feel like I should be sad or upset. But it doesn't seem to matter much to me. I haven't seen her much over the last few months. She's been busy and I have my own duties here.

It seemed like whenever I did see her Miss Emily protected me from her. Mom can be tough and she and her boyfriend treat me like a servant when they see me. That isn't unusual for me but there's a nastiness that hurts me.

I know it may be hard for people to understand but I am truly thankful to Miss Emily for stepping in when things get too harsh. It's strange that can I accept whatever she does to me but need her to protect me at other times.

I guess this is my family now. It seems natural and where I belong.

<curtsy>

Catching Up

It's been a couple weeks since I posed and a lot has happened. It's hard to know where to start. I think I'll just do a post now about things and then maybe others if I think of what I want to say.

First, I had a wonderful week away with Miss Emily to a vacation home her family owns. Her sister was there for a couple of the days, but otherwise I was just her wife. We went hiking. Keeping up with her tough. But she said I looked "cute" in the L.L. Bean outfits she bought me.

I spent a lot of time kneeling between her thighs and she used her strap-on every day. I was so sore. But content too. I was even allowed to cum twice. I doubt that will happen soon.

The big bombshell was that Miss Emily told me she wants me to go on a date with her man's friend. To say this scare same is an understatement. She says every girl needs to experience it.

When Miss Emily makes up her mind she moves quickly. The date will be this coming Friday night. I am thankful that she and Jack will be along. My stomach is churning thinking about it.

Miss Emily tool me shopping last week for a dress to wear. I'll write more about that lately.

After serving at a party on Saturday things are back to normal this week as a think about going on a date. With a man. Yikes!

<curtsy>

Alone But Not Alone

I don't know if this will make any sense to anyone but sometimes I feel all alone even when I am around people. The last couple of days I have felt like I am missing Miss Emily even though she is not away.

But as I wrote yesterday she has been cool toward. I doubt I'll ever feel totally comfortable when she is in that mood. It sets me on edge and makes me wonder what I have done to displease her.

Last night she came home, ate her dinner quickly and went to her home office to do some work. I wasn't even summoned to help her change from her work clothes. All I could do was hanger her clothes after she went to work.

I felt unwanted. I know in my mind she wants me and needs me, but I can't help feeling alone. It's a helpless feeling. The strangest part is I am she knows how I feel and she knows I know that fact.

I guess that's all part of being her sissy maid and wife. It's part of that paradox I wrote about yesterday.

Maybe tonight will be different.

<curtsy>

Treated Like a Wife

Jack left after I served breakfast to him and Miss Emily on Sunday morning. I was in a daze. I was tired and I really didn't have many thoughts in my head. Once in a while I'd remember how his cock felt in my mouth when he came.

Since it was Father's Day we went to Miss Emily's parents house for dinner. It was a relaxing day and I was dressed in pink short shorts and a white tank top with pink trim. It was nice to be a wife more than a maid, although I did help with serving dinner and doing the dishes.

When we got home I received a treat when Mss Emily said she wanted me to stay up while she did some work in her home office. She finished up and called me to come to the den. She wanted to watch basketball (I'll never get the sports thing lol!). She had me on the couch next to her.

Usually I would be at her feet and if I'm luck I'd be allowed to worship them. This time she had her arm around me. I was so tired form the long weekend that soon I had my head in her lap as she cradled it.

I could feel her fingers in my hair. It was so peaceful and I felt so peaceful. I guess she got bored with the game because she turned the TV off and led me to her bedroom. She kissed me hard and I felt week. I could feel the strength in her.

I knew was going to get her strap-on and that she would use me. I was excited. It was like my sleepiness was gone.

She did fuck me and hard. She had me begging for more. She doesn't ask me to beg for that it just seems to happen. I was still locked in my chastity device but i could feel the dripping.

Finally she was finished. She allowed me to sleep with her in her bed. And when I awoke she had left for work. That is rare.

Somehow she knew exactly what I needed.

How does she do that?

<curtsy>

Cucking and Sucking

The rest of my weekend was quite intense. Jack stayed over again on Saturday. When I think back to Friday and Saturday I can't quite believe how much cum I swallowed. It's enough to make a sissy turn beet red.

It seems like he is always able to get hard and she seemed to never get fucked by him often enough. And then something new happened. After I had cleaned her I started to lick his cock clean.

I'll never get over how big he is or how he starts to get hard again so soon after he has an orgasm. This time Miss Emily instructed me to start on his balls. They seem huge to me. Much bigger than mine. I was told to suck them. That really felt strange.

Then I licked his cock and took it in my mouth. I could still taste her on. That excites me so much. I could feel my clit dripping in my panties. I could feel him getting harder.

I was going to stop as I had in the past but as I started to pull my mouth up I felt his hands on the back of my head. I ket sucking as he let go.

My jaw was getting sore. I could feel him getting harder. Then I felt his hands on my head again. I felt so small as he started to move his cock in an out of my mouth. And then I felt him tense. I knew he was about to cum. In my mouth. I'd never swallowed it like that before.

And then he came. It wasn't a huge load but it was hot and sticky. I swallowed to keep from gagging.

The he pushed me away. His cock slapped my nose. A drop of cum landed on my cheek.

I heard her laugh and say "you are such a little cum slut."

I know I blushed.

I find it amazing that when I am in the moment doing these things it feels natural. Later it embarrasses me.

Sunday was completely different, filled with a family visit and a night in which I was more wife than cuckold. I'll write about that later today.

<curtsy>

More Cuckolding Thoughts

Last night was both difficult and exciting. As I mentioned in my last post, Miss Emily invited Jack over to watch the hockey game. I had little doubt he would spend the night. I'm still not used to being a cuckold. I wonder if I ever will be.

I can't deny how happy she is when they have sex. And I can't deny the mix of emotions her having sex with Jack causes me to feel. This time there was something new. He acted liked he belonged here. He's just so comfortable being with her just watching TV and talking.

All the while I know my places is as a maid. Maybe I should be used to all that by now. But I guess I'm not. Despite wondering if I really am destined to be a maid I can't help obeying Miss Emily and Jack.

I felt like I was in a daze as I brought them drinks and snacks. I felt like my mind was trying not to notice how close they were sitting and how often he kissed her. Then when there was a break in the game I was summoned to kneel before them.

I can't quite understand what was happening. Jack was giving the orders. That had happened a few times before. But I looked over at Miss Emily. She was so intense as she watched. I knew whatever was going to happen was important to her.

I was conflicted. I became very nervous and wanted to crawl in a hold. Hide. But I didn't want to disappoint her. I'll never understand how I can feel those things at the same time.

My task was simple. Strip him so he could, as put it, "satisfy your mistress sin ways you never could."

That made me feel so small. Mistress isn't a word Miss Emily ever used but I guess it fits. And I know what he said is true, but t still hurts for some reason.

I undressed him, starting with his shoes as I was told in earlier times he was here. I didn't forget to kiss each shoe before removing it. I was blushing the whole time. When I removed his pants I could see the outline of his hard cock against his boxers.

When I pulled them down the tip slapped my cheek. Miss Emily helped him take his shirt off. I sucked his cock to get him ready for her, planting a kiss on the tip first as she had taught me with her strapon.

I felt like I was a robot. But was excited. I felt a hand on my head and then a whisper in my ear. It was Miss Emily telling me I was being a good sissy.

I was pushed aside and Jack sat on the couch with Miss Emily mounting him. I watched as they fucked. It was hard and it was fast. She was cumming quickly. She must have been so ready for him.

Sone he was cumming. She sat there kissing him hard on the mouth. She was still wearing a T-shirt and nothing else.

As seems to be "normal" now I cleaned them both. She was so wet with his cum and her own juices. His cock was slick. I love the way it feels in my mouth. So hard and so soft at the same time. There's something I never expected to think about.

She slipped her panties on and he dressed with my help. She put her head on his shoulder as they watched the rest of the game.

They had sex twice more. Once before they slept and once this morning.

I admit to being confused now. Is he replacing me? She says she loves and adores me. But I have never seen her look like she does when he is fucking her hard.

Today they went to play tennis. I changed the sheets and cleaned her bathroom.

Something seems different but what it means I really don't know.

That seems to be the way things are for me in Miss Emily's world.

<curtsy>

Cuckolding and Jealousy

Maybe I'll never really get used to the idea of Miss Emily dating Jack. I can't deny that seeing her with him gets me excited. I know deep down I could never satisfy her the way he does. His cock is so much bigger,

The look on her face when he fucks her is something I'd never seen before. That made me jealous. But now something else has me feeling that way.

Tonight Jack is coming over to watch hockey. I don't know why but the idea of just watching TV with her makes me feel blue. I guess I am not even adequate for that. Of course, I know he'll probably do more than watch sports with her.

It's hard to express exactly what I feel about all this. I think years of keeping everything inside have made me reluctant to share those kinds of things.

And then there's the fact that since I found out about tonight's guest I haven't been able to stop thinking about his cock. It's so big and thick.

Am I so easy to manipulate that she has me thinking like a slut? I guess I am.

<curtsy.

At Her Feet

For one night there was no hockey. I was glad of that, but Miss Emily tells me there's a game tonight. I know here her attention will be.

But at least night she was in a good mood and allowed me to curl up on the floor while she watched TV after dinner. Don't even ask me what she was watching because I was too content being near her to care.

Not only was I at her feet, Miss Emily allowed me to worship them. I love the feel of her skin against my lips. Her feet are so beautiful. Isn't it strange that I feel lucky to be allowed to even touch them?

After I kissed and rubbed her feet she had me paint her nails. She chose a royal purple color, one of her favorites. I always take my time to make sure each nail looks perfect.

I was so excited I couldn't help hoping I would be allowed to cum. But I knew it wouldn't happen. Of course that didn't mean she wouldn't find satisfaction. Miss Emily masturbated when I had finished her nails.

I really wanted to taste her but she was content to have me watch her. It's so exciting and frustrating when she does that. But I am sure she knows that.

<curtsy>

Not Always Easy

Getting used to all the changes that have occurred since I met Miss Emily is not always easy. Sometimes I can't believe that I have not fought them

I think the most difficult thing is the way people look at me in public. I think I expected people to stare and look at me like I was strange. But I never expected men to flirt with me. Not all men. It's only happened openly a couple times. I doubt I've ever blushed more.

The most recent time it happened was in the grocery store. An older man who was maybe in his 50s or 60s saw me reaching for an item on the top shelf. He came over and got it for me. That would have been sweet, but he had his arm around me and called me "sweetheart." I was embarrassed.

I only blushed harder when he asked if he could take me to lunch sometime. He told me how much he enjoyed being with "special girls." I could barely speak but stammered out that I was married.

I don't know what to think about the encounter. I know it was a compliment but I never thought of being with men really.

Miss Emily said I should get used to such attention.

<curtsy>

Commitment and Consequences

I was thinking about my post from yesterday and I realized that my second thoughts about being a sissy wife/servant brought a change to my relationship with Miss Emily.

I don';t think I even realized it for a long time, but after she called and forgave me her power over me was much greater. She exerted her control in new ways. I guess she knew I wouldn't dare disobey her.

Until that time I only wore panties when I was at her home. The day after I came back she gave me a gift. It was ten pairs of panties. She told me she wanted me to wear them at all times. I admit I swallowed hard. Maybe I should have know it would happen one day, but it seemed like such a big step.

As instructed I tossed all my male underwear in the garbage when I went home that night. I didn't have second thoughts. I was starting to really trust her. Or maybe I was afraid she'd leave me. I often wonder why she'd want me at all.

Looking back I can see that Miss Emily really took charge from that day. I wasn't expecting to wear a maid's uniform or live the life I am leading now. But since the wedding there's been no turning back.

I just have to keep trusting that she knows best.

<curtsy>

Life as a Servant

Sometimes I can't believe how my life has changed since i met Miss Emily. I had never imagined living as a servant, let alone a maid.

This weekend was typical. Except I had a lot of laundry to do. More than usual because the washer broke last week and it took a few days to get a new one delivered.

And then yesterday was Miss Emily's birthday. I am not allowed to but her presents but I did get her a dozen yellow roses, her favorite flowers. I spent a lot of time with my tongue buried in her pussy. Her favorite position is sitting on my face. It makes me feel like there is nothing else in the world but her dripping pussy.

The rest of the day included lunch with her family and then back home where Miss Emily relaxed and allowed me to sit at her feet while she watched baseball. Sports bore me but I always feel good when I am around her.

I guess that's what the life of a sissy maid/wife is about. Maybe someday I'll understand why I can't help wanting to please her.

<curtsy>

Poked, Prodded and Measured

Talk about total embarrassment! Today I went to the doctor for a physical, my first since starting my life as Mis Emily's sissy wife.

The office was professional and there were no other patients when we arrived. The receptionist checked us in and we waited only a couple minutes before the nurse called my name. She was in her 30s I'd guess and paid no attention to fact that I was a male dressed in capri slacks, a blouse a and wore makeup.

I followed to an examination room where I was instructed to strip to my panties and wait. Sitting there I realized I was still wearing my chastity cage. I felt embarrassed just thinking about the doctor seeing it.

The nurse cam back and weighed and measured me. I was relieved that I was down to 130 pounds. I knew Miss Emily would be pleased. Then I was left alone again.

Finally the door opened and the doctor walked in followed by Miss Emily. I hadn't expected that but maybe I should have. She did set up the appointment.

The doctor was a woman, in her mid to late 30s. She introduced herself and got down to business. She proceeded to poke prod and measure me. Miss Emily gave her the key to my chastity cage. My clit was measured. It was 2 5/8 inches soft.

All the communication was between the doctor and Mis sEmily. They talked about me like I wasn't even there. That made me feel small and insignificant, like a child. I should be used to that by now, but sometimes it still surprises me.

Then the real humiliation started. I was directed to lie on the table and put my feet in the stirrups. I'd never knew about this kind of exam. I learned. Wearing a rubber glove and using some lube the doctor put her index finger inside me. I was squirming as she moved it around.

All the while she was talking to Miss Emily in a professional manner about how often I am allowed to cum and how feminine I am. I thought I was turning deep red. I closed my eyes and wished I was somewhere else.

I heard Miss Emily laugh. I brought my attention back to the doctor's voice. I heard her talikng about how I was already dribbling cum from my clit. She asked if this was as hard as I could get. Miss Emily said that was "all there was." I could hear the laugh in her voice. I felt so ashamed.

Next thing I knew the doctor had removed her finger and was measuring my hard clit. It was 3 7/8 inches. I heard the doctor tell Miss Emily it was smallest of all her sissy patients. Could my cheeks feel any hotter?

The rest of the exam was routine except for a question the doctor asked Miss Emily. She told her I was good candidate for hormones and wondered if Miss Emily was planning to to that. The answer I heard through my foggy brain was that she wasn't sure.

I felt my stomach do flip flops and I really thought I might faint. I was wobbly as I dressed and they talked. I know i am Miss Emily's sissy wife and maid, but hormones are so, I don't know, permanent. The idea scares me.

<curtsy>

An Appointment

Miss Emily dropped what seems like a bombshell this morning. I don't know why it feels that way but it does. Tomorrow I am going to have a physical. I haven't seen a doctor since she started feminizing me.

Miss Emily assured me that the doctor has other sissy patients. That doesn't comfort me much. I wonder what the doctor and anyone else in the office will think of me. Maybe that's silly. Other have seen me but this seems like another big step.

Miss Emily is taking me to the doctor and that makes me feel like a child. But it's better than going alone. The appointment is early. That's when the doctor sees her sissy patients.

My stomach is already in knots. I doubt I'll sleep much tonight.

<curtsy>

Emily's 2nd Date Continued

As time has passed since Miss Emily's 2nd date with Jack the details of it seem less important than what I felt and still feel.

Yes she spent the night. Yes I watched her have sex with him. She had that look I'd never seen before. She locked my eyes while I watched them. I was embarrassed and jealous and my penis was dripping in its cage.

Cleaning them both after he came added to my humiliation. It was clear I was a servant, there to amuse them both. Being dismissed to wash his clothes so they'd be ready in the morning added to the feeling I had of being small and insignificant.

Passing her bedroom door later I could hear them having sex again. I'm not sure if it was worse watching or being excluded. Isn't that strange?

I didn't sleep well. I kept thinking about that look on Miss Emily's face. And I thought of the taste of the cum as I cleaned her pussy and his cock.

The next morning I awoke late and found them eating breakfast in the kitchen. They were both relaxed and smiling. I felt like an outsider. They mostly ignored me as they chatted, ate and kissed at times.

It was after 11 when they said their goodbyes. A passionate kiss at the door made me jealous all over again. Hearing her called "darling" added to the feeling.

After I cleaned up the breakfast dishes, Miss Emily called me into her bedroom. She told me she was proud of me. Why does hearing that make all this seem worth it? 

Then she surprised me by unlocking my chastity cage. She told she wanted me to play with my "tiny cockette." I was allowed to cum when she gave me the word. She handed me the small plastic plate that she has trained me to cum on.

While I masturbated she talked about how good it felt to be fucked by Jack. She told me to remember how his cock felt in my mouth. I was almost crying and still I was hard. Finally she gave me the word. I spurted my "sissy juice" as she calls it onto the plate. I knew to lick it all up.

She looked so pleased. I cried.

<curtsy>

It's Been Awhile

Miss Emily wanted me to post a quick update. We have been dealing with some family illnesses and other problems that have kept me offline. I hope to be posting again soon about my life as Miss Emily's sissy wife. There have not been many changes there, although she did have a second date with her man. I will give the details later. I'll just say it was humiliating.

Family Influences

Sometimes I wonder why I am a sissy and why Miss Emily is a dominant. Were we born this way or did we learn it? Maybe both. I don't really know.

I do know that I am small for a male. And my penis is mall, too. No wonder it's called a clit now. Girls were never interested in me as anything more than a friend. I never knew my father and was raised by my mom. I have a sister who is three years older than me.

I was always expected to do housework and help with cooking. There was never anything kinky about it. It's just the way it was. Mom and my sister fully support how Miss Emily is training me. When I am in uniform they seem to have no trouble treating me as a servant. At other times I am another daughter or sister. I think they like me more this way.

Miss Emily was raised in a female dominant home. Her father obeys her mother. As I have said earlier here he is not a sissy but he is obedient. He and Miss Emily's brother did all the housework and served.

I have only met her brother a couple of times. He is away at school. He pretends he is not submissive but when any of the women of the family give him a hard look he obeys instantly.

Of course Miss Emily's mother and sister support her training me. It seems like everyone in my world does now.

<curtsy>

Serving & Humiliation

Miss Emily made sure I knew my place this weekend just in case being sent to my room early on Friday wasn't enough.

Once a week I clean the apartment of Miss Emily's friend, Miss Amy. Because we were away I missed a week. I spent yesterday cleaning her apartment and doing her laundry. Two weeks worth of laundry. I spent eight hours there while Miss Emily and Miss Amy went out to play tennis and enjoy the day.

While they ate dinner, which I cooked for them, I hand washed Miss Amy's laundry. That took two hours to complete. When we got home I was sent to bed at 8 p.m. But the humiliation for the day wasn't over. Miss Emily dressed me in pajama's that looked like some a little girl would wear.

It was embarrassing, but I didn't think much about it. I was tired from the housework and feel asleep holding the pink bear she put in my arms when she tucked me in.

When I awoke there was a note in the bathroom telling me to dress in the clothes in the box on the counter. Inside was a complete outfit like a little girl would wear, a pink lacy dress, white tights, ruffled panties and pink shoes.

I felt my stomach turn as  I dressed after I took a shower. Miss Emily came in and said how adorable I looked. She handed me the bear and told me to follow her. She had me sit on the kitchen floor while she started to cook.

I felt ignored as she started cooking. I knew it was too much food for her and on my diet I wasn't likely to get any pancakes, eggs or bacon. Then the doorbell rang. I wanted to crawl in a hole.

Miss Emily came back and I could hear her talking. She was with her parents. Her mother had seen me dressed like a child before but I still felt humiliated. She was smirking as she looked at me. I felt like crying.

Then Miss Emily's sister showed up. While they ate I sat on the floor near Miss Emily playing with a plastic tea set. Miss Emily's father served the meal but he was allowed to sit at the table. While he did the dishes the worst part of the day came.

Sunday is always punishment day and Miss Emily decided her mother and sister would be a part of it. I was made to stand before her and lower my panties and tights. They had a good laugh at my new pink chastity cage. Miss Sara, her sister, is usually mean to me and she loved seeing it.

I ended up over the knee of each while I was paddled. After a half hour in the corner I thanked them for punishing me.

After they left it was back to my maid's uniform.

<curtsy>