Girly Stuff

It struck me today when I was talking to Misty that I have lot of girly stuff in my head. More than I realized.

Why I'm surprised I am not really sure. Obviously Mss Emily has been training me to be her maid and wife. There's nothing many about that. But I didn't know I could discuss bubble baths and hair products with hardly a thought.

I know that Miss Emily has been having the girl who does my hair talk to me about things like that, as well as makeup. I never knew I had a spring skin tone. I just thought I was pale.

Other girly things came about through practice, like walking, sitting properly and even how to hold my arms.

And then there's my room. Miss Emily had it redone but I didn't see it until after we got married. It was kind of a shock. Maybe that was the point. It's all pink and white with lace curtains and bedspread. That was quite a change. But now it is my own space. Well, kind of. Miss Emily can come in anytime she wants.

She is the only one who is allowed real privacy.

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Packing Up

I am pretty excited today. Tomorrow Miss Emily is taking me away for a week to a vacation home in the woods. There'll be no computers to distract her. I won't have her all to myself since her sister will be there for part of the week, but I think it will be fun.

I've never dome much hiking or things like that but now I have a wardrobe for it. Miss Emily bought me shorts and tops and hiking boots and even socks and a red plaid wool jacket (I'm always cold lol). It was all a surprise when it arrived from UPS yesterday. It was fun trying it all on. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up with her but I'll try.

I was even told not to pack any maids uniforms. And that will be a nice change.

She has been so cool this week. I wonder if her mood will change once we are away. I never know what to expect.

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Alone But Not Alone

I don't know if this will make any sense to anyone but sometimes I feel all alone even when I am around people. The last couple of days I have felt like I am missing Miss Emily even though she is not away.

But as I wrote yesterday she has been cool toward. I doubt I'll ever feel totally comfortable when she is in that mood. It sets me on edge and makes me wonder what I have done to displease her.

Last night she came home, ate her dinner quickly and went to her home office to do some work. I wasn't even summoned to help her change from her work clothes. All I could do was hanger her clothes after she went to work.

I felt unwanted. I know in my mind she wants me and needs me, but I can't help feeling alone. It's a helpless feeling. The strangest part is I am she knows how I feel and she knows I know that fact.

I guess that's all part of being her sissy maid and wife. It's part of that paradox I wrote about yesterday.

Maybe tonight will be different.

<curtsy>

A Paradox

I find it interesting that the cooler she is toward me the more I need Miss Emily's approval. No matter how she gives me I always seem to need and crave more.

This week is a good example. After getting a lot of her attention and even a dozen roses she has turned very cool to me. I am a servant and this all. Somehow this makes me ache for her to notice me.

I know that things will change and I will be a wife or a slut or a cuckold or whatever else she commands and then she will desire something else.

In the meantime I am a maid serving the woman she adores.

Life is very strange I think.

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