Last night was both difficult and exciting. As I mentioned in my last post, Miss Emily invited Jack over to watch the hockey game. I had little doubt he would spend the night. I'm still not used to being a cuckold. I wonder if I ever will be.
I can't deny how happy she is when they have sex. And I can't deny the mix of emotions her having sex with Jack causes me to feel. This time there was something new. He acted liked he belonged here. He's just so comfortable being with her just watching TV and talking.
All the while I know my places is as a maid. Maybe I should be used to all that by now. But I guess I'm not. Despite wondering if I really am destined to be a maid I can't help obeying Miss Emily and Jack.
I felt like I was in a daze as I brought them drinks and snacks. I felt like my mind was trying not to notice how close they were sitting and how often he kissed her. Then when there was a break in the game I was summoned to kneel before them.
I can't quite understand what was happening. Jack was giving the orders. That had happened a few times before. But I looked over at Miss Emily. She was so intense as she watched. I knew whatever was going to happen was important to her.
I was conflicted. I became very nervous and wanted to crawl in a hold. Hide. But I didn't want to disappoint her. I'll never understand how I can feel those things at the same time.
My task was simple. Strip him so he could, as put it, "satisfy your mistress sin ways you never could."
That made me feel so small. Mistress isn't a word Miss Emily ever used but I guess it fits. And I know what he said is true, but t still hurts for some reason.
I undressed him, starting with his shoes as I was told in earlier times he was here. I didn't forget to kiss each shoe before removing it. I was blushing the whole time. When I removed his pants I could see the outline of his hard cock against his boxers.
When I pulled them down the tip slapped my cheek. Miss Emily helped him take his shirt off. I sucked his cock to get him ready for her, planting a kiss on the tip first as she had taught me with her strapon.
I felt like I was a robot. But was excited. I felt a hand on my head and then a whisper in my ear. It was Miss Emily telling me I was being a good sissy.
I was pushed aside and Jack sat on the couch with Miss Emily mounting him. I watched as they fucked. It was hard and it was fast. She was cumming quickly. She must have been so ready for him.
Sone he was cumming. She sat there kissing him hard on the mouth. She was still wearing a T-shirt and nothing else.
As seems to be "normal" now I cleaned them both. She was so wet with his cum and her own juices. His cock was slick. I love the way it feels in my mouth. So hard and so soft at the same time. There's something I never expected to think about.
She slipped her panties on and he dressed with my help. She put her head on his shoulder as they watched the rest of the game.
They had sex twice more. Once before they slept and once this morning.
I admit to being confused now. Is he replacing me? She says she loves and adores me. But I have never seen her look like she does when he is fucking her hard.
Today they went to play tennis. I changed the sheets and cleaned her bathroom.
Something seems different but what it means I really don't know.
That seems to be the way things are for me in Miss Emily's world.
<curtsy>
it is an honor for you to serve as a cuck to your Mistress and Her friend. Dress and be as much as a sissy/cuck as you can in order to please them. This is how I serve my Mistress and, although I am sometimes confused, I have learned it is best to just obey.
ReplyDeleteI know you are right Teri. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteIt doesn't seem to me as if you should be having any questions, unless being kept " in the dark" so to speak , is part of your arrangement, your role should be perfectly clear to both of you , so that if you don't like an aspect of your role, you can then exercise autonomy in refusal or a negotiation, as impossible as that idea seems. The roles of modern BDSM relationships include negotiation, Miss Emily -Mrs Emily more accurately asked if you would be her sissy wife and maid , but the duties and responsibilities of that role were not spelled out in any formal way at the time, so there are understandably many questions, and with questions come doubts and stress. I think the other readers and myself are inteersted to know if you are in financial slavery to Emily. Do you work a job with a paycheck? Do you receive money from Emily every week for your efforts so that if things go to far and you need to end your relationship you have a means of support other than going back to your mother? Do you have your own keys to your own house,? do you have your own vehicle? Do you have a savings account?Your efforts are worth money and a judge in a court of law would tell you so, there is no reason why you shouldn't get a few hundred dollars every week direct deposited into an account and it sits there growing at 400 or 500 a week in case you ever have to get your own apartment and start working or go back to school to support the both of you if something happens where she can't work. Right now you have no rights, no mind of your own -and it's fun some of the time, but the fact that you have a small penis is not a reason for you to have zero autonomy and zero finances. You could also say ok I will work outside the home 40 hrs a week, I'll be a maid 20 hours in the home and also on weekends, and save your own money, but to have no say so , and no negotiation and no visible means of support it isn't a relationship in any sense of the word , there is no communication and no relating, you're being manipulated and you are enjoying it to a certain extent but you wouldn't want to blame her later for decisions you didn't make now,You have to be responsible for your own actions and your own submission, and there are also hard boundaries, unprotected sex, mutilation, blood, public exposure, criminal activity, when you reach a boundary it might be better to have a limit established before hand, OR if you really wish to have no say in anything, then maybe you need a different kind of contract where she is your legal guardian and then she would incur rights and responsibilities that way. The point I think is that there are good unknowns ( what will I Get for my birthday) and bad unknowns ( does she have a complete separate apartment and I will be homeless with no food or shelter?, do I have health insurance? What if she wants children with another lawyer? would it be cheaper for them to live together and hire a sissy?) the bad questions will need to be discussed at some point. Or all of your blog posts will include these nagging questions.
ReplyDeleteYou know -not that I know much about this- but I think it is natural to have questions, to question yourself, to question what is happening or might happen. I think only time and love will help you with insurities. I'm not sure what Miss Emily has planned, where she wants this relationship with Jack to go, but what I do know is, she married you, and I don't see her doing that just to replace you with someone else. She has helped you become a sissy, because that's what she wants, YOU are what makes all of this exciting for her.
ReplyDeleteI'm annoyed at anonymous' comment above, just so you know. "Nagging" questions I think NOT! I think it's very clear you know what your role is.
I have run out of time, Master is calling,so I must go :)
You understand much more than you give yourself credit for dear. In fact you have got it exactly right. I did choose Danni as my life partner. I do not make decisions lightly and I rarely change my mind once I have made one. Danni, like many sissies and masochists, sometimes forgets that a dominant needs a submissive just as much as a submissive needs a dominant. I know Danni will take whatever I dish out. Why would I want anything else for a spouse?
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