July 11, 2014

So Close

Only a few more hours till I go on my first date with a man. There's a lot to do before including an appointment at the salon at 2. I never quite know what Miss Emily has set up for me there but I am sure I will get a new hairstyle and maybe some pampering.

I remember the first trip to to the salon. I was so nervous. The women there were nice and I guess a couple of them have become friends. One of them Alex, whose only a little older than me, says we have so much in common. That still surprises me.

But as I sit here with bra filled out and thinking about going on a date it's harder to deny.

Maybe I will be able to put this out of my mind while I do the laundry and then get ready for tonight. I sure hope so.

<curtsy>

July 10, 2014

About Those Heels

A couple of readers commented about my new shoes. I know a lot of sissies and their owners have a fetish about high heels. They don't do much for in that regard and that doesn't seem to be something Miss Emily cares much about either.

It seems to me that she is training me to be her wife and maid and hasn't adopted many of the things common on the internet regarding the dressing of a sissy, except of course the maid's uniforms. lol.

I might be totally wrong. Maybe someday I will be wearing five inch heels. But it doesn't seem that way.

Not that what I think will matter much. What she wants is all that matters.

<curtsy>

One More Day

Friday is the big day. My first date with a man. I am trying hard not to think about it all the time but it's not easy. Other than more practice in the three-inch heels, Miss Emily didn't mention it last night. She didn't have to.

I woke up several times and all that I could think about was what might happen. I thought about the first time I had a date with Miss Emily. My feelings were similar except of course I had always dreamed of dating a woman as beautiful as she is.

But there's not changing her plans. I will be on a date tomorrow. I hope I'm not to shy to even speak. I can get that way and it might disappoint Miss Emily.

I almost wish today was over so I could stop wondering.

<curtsy>


July 9, 2014

New Shoes

The new shoes I got for my date have a three inch heel. That's higher than I have worn before. The first time put them on I thought I was going to fall over. And when I did stand straight I felt so tall. It was very strange.

Walking in them was difficult. So Miss Emily had me practice last night. Small steps. Roll my hips. Over and over. I was so sore after just a short time of practicing.But she kept me walking for two hours. I was never so ready for bed.

I am still sore but wearing my usual shoes today. I am getting nervous thinking about Friday night. Will he want to kiss me? Will I like it? I've never kissed a man.

I was chatting with a friend earlier and she said she thought I was going to find out what it's like. I think she's correct.

My stomach churns at the the thought.

<curtsy>

July 8, 2014

Shopping for the Date, Breasts Included

I still can't believe I am going on a date this friday. With. A. Man.

I have so many conflicting emotions and thoughts. Fear. Excitement. Nervousness. Will he like me? Will he think I'm pretty? Why do I care. I mean, I've never meant him. I don't really know much about him.

I know he's older, in his 40s. Miss Emily only told me he's the kind of man lots of women would want to date. She says I should be proud he wants to take me out. Proud? I don't know. My head swims when I think about it.

Of course, Miss Emily wants to make sure she has me looking the way she wants for the big night on Friday. That involved shopping. Lots of shopping.

Last week, I spent trying on dresses, buying new shoes and a purse to go with the lacy pink dress she chose and even new lingerie. I wasn't surprised a new corset was chosen. I am usually in one. This one is stiffer despite how girly it is. It's all pink and white with lace trim and even little roses at the top of each garter strap.

The biggest surprise is that Miss Emily had realistic breasts glued to my chest. They aren't very big but I am constantly aware of their weight. They meant I had to get new bras to fit my new figure. I wonder why a man would want a sissy with fake breasts? Did I really think that?

Friday afternoon I have an appointment at the salon. I go regularly but this seems different. It almost feels like the first time I went to the salon. I wonder how my hair will be done and my makeup.

Part of me wishes it was Friday night already and part of hopes it never comes.

But I know it will.

<curtsy>





What is Family?

I was thinking about how my whole world really revolves around Miss Emily. It made me think about mom and my sister.

I haven't written much about them or my childhood. I was never very happy. I wasn't abused or anything like that, but I never fit anywhere. Not at school or really at home. Mom raised us but she was always busty with work or whatever and I was left alone a lot.

Now she is moving away with her boyfriend. I feel like I should be sad or upset. But it doesn't seem to matter much to me. I haven't seen her much over the last few months. She's been busy and I have my own duties here.

It seemed like whenever I did see her Miss Emily protected me from her. Mom can be tough and she and her boyfriend treat me like a servant when they see me. That isn't unusual for me but there's a nastiness that hurts me.

I know it may be hard for people to understand but I am truly thankful to Miss Emily for stepping in when things get too harsh. It's strange that can I accept whatever she does to me but need her to protect me at other times.

I guess this is my family now. It seems natural and where I belong.

<curtsy>

July 7, 2014

Catching Up

It's been a couple weeks since I posed and a lot has happened. It's hard to know where to start. I think I'll just do a post now about things and then maybe others if I think of what I want to say.

First, I had a wonderful week away with Miss Emily to a vacation home her family owns. Her sister was there for a couple of the days, but otherwise I was just her wife. We went hiking. Keeping up with her tough. But she said I looked "cute" in the L.L. Bean outfits she bought me.

I spent a lot of time kneeling between her thighs and she used her strap-on every day. I was so sore. But content too. I was even allowed to cum twice. I doubt that will happen soon.

The big bombshell was that Miss Emily told me she wants me to go on a date with her man's friend. To say this scare same is an understatement. She says every girl needs to experience it.

When Miss Emily makes up her mind she moves quickly. The date will be this coming Friday night. I am thankful that she and Jack will be along. My stomach is churning thinking about it.

Miss Emily tool me shopping last week for a dress to wear. I'll write more about that lately.

After serving at a party on Saturday things are back to normal this week as a think about going on a date. With a man. Yikes!

<curtsy>

June 20, 2014

Girly Stuff

It struck me today when I was talking to Misty that I have lot of girly stuff in my head. More than I realized.

Why I'm surprised I am not really sure. Obviously Mss Emily has been training me to be her maid and wife. There's nothing many about that. But I didn't know I could discuss bubble baths and hair products with hardly a thought.

I know that Miss Emily has been having the girl who does my hair talk to me about things like that, as well as makeup. I never knew I had a spring skin tone. I just thought I was pale.

Other girly things came about through practice, like walking, sitting properly and even how to hold my arms.

And then there's my room. Miss Emily had it redone but I didn't see it until after we got married. It was kind of a shock. Maybe that was the point. It's all pink and white with lace curtains and bedspread. That was quite a change. But now it is my own space. Well, kind of. Miss Emily can come in anytime she wants.

She is the only one who is allowed real privacy.

<curtsy>


Packing Up

I am pretty excited today. Tomorrow Miss Emily is taking me away for a week to a vacation home in the woods. There'll be no computers to distract her. I won't have her all to myself since her sister will be there for part of the week, but I think it will be fun.

I've never dome much hiking or things like that but now I have a wardrobe for it. Miss Emily bought me shorts and tops and hiking boots and even socks and a red plaid wool jacket (I'm always cold lol). It was all a surprise when it arrived from UPS yesterday. It was fun trying it all on. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up with her but I'll try.

I was even told not to pack any maids uniforms. And that will be a nice change.

She has been so cool this week. I wonder if her mood will change once we are away. I never know what to expect.

<curtsy>

June 19, 2014

Alone But Not Alone

I don't know if this will make any sense to anyone but sometimes I feel all alone even when I am around people. The last couple of days I have felt like I am missing Miss Emily even though she is not away.

But as I wrote yesterday she has been cool toward. I doubt I'll ever feel totally comfortable when she is in that mood. It sets me on edge and makes me wonder what I have done to displease her.

Last night she came home, ate her dinner quickly and went to her home office to do some work. I wasn't even summoned to help her change from her work clothes. All I could do was hanger her clothes after she went to work.

I felt unwanted. I know in my mind she wants me and needs me, but I can't help feeling alone. It's a helpless feeling. The strangest part is I am she knows how I feel and she knows I know that fact.

I guess that's all part of being her sissy maid and wife. It's part of that paradox I wrote about yesterday.

Maybe tonight will be different.

<curtsy>

June 18, 2014

A Paradox

I find it interesting that the cooler she is toward me the more I need Miss Emily's approval. No matter how she gives me I always seem to need and crave more.

This week is a good example. After getting a lot of her attention and even a dozen roses she has turned very cool to me. I am a servant and this all. Somehow this makes me ache for her to notice me.

I know that things will change and I will be a wife or a slut or a cuckold or whatever else she commands and then she will desire something else.

In the meantime I am a maid serving the woman she adores.

Life is very strange I think.

<curtsy>

June 17, 2014

How Does She Do That?

Yesterday was a quieter day after the weekend. I did receive a nice surprise late in the afternoon when a dozen pink and yellow roses were delivered. They were from Miss Emily, with a lovely note. I was blushing and grinning.

But I also was exhausted from the weekend. Miss Emily was getting home late so I went to bed early. I slept almost 10 hours. In fact, I almost overslept. I can imagine how annoyed she would have been if that had happened.

Maybe it didn't matter. This morning she was back to being very cool toward me. I was a servant, not so much a wife. I was still floating along and somehow she was able to flip some switch and be that way.

I often wonder how she does that. My only mode seems to be to please her, or at least try. I never am quite sure how she will treat me. I think it keeps me off balance.

This morning she noticed a drop of coffee on the kitchen counter. She was not pleased as she called the kitchen "filthy." She doesn't angry or yell. But the tone of her voice lets me know I have displeased her. I don't think there's any worse feeling.

So I scrubbed the kitchen, even cleaning the refrigerator and the stove. I hope she notices but I somehow doubt she will. While it always feels better when she does notice, I know it doesn't really matter.

<curtsy>





June 16, 2014

Treated Like a Wife

Jack left after I served breakfast to him and Miss Emily on Sunday morning. I was in a daze. I was tired and I really didn't have many thoughts in my head. Once in a while I'd remember how his cock felt in my mouth when he came.

Since it was Father's Day we went to Miss Emily's parents house for dinner. It was a relaxing day and I was dressed in pink short shorts and a white tank top with pink trim. It was nice to be a wife more than a maid, although I did help with serving dinner and doing the dishes.

When we got home I received a treat when Mss Emily said she wanted me to stay up while she did some work in her home office. She finished up and called me to come to the den. She wanted to watch basketball (I'll never get the sports thing lol!). She had me on the couch next to her.

Usually I would be at her feet and if I'm luck I'd be allowed to worship them. This time she had her arm around me. I was so tired form the long weekend that soon I had my head in her lap as she cradled it.

I could feel her fingers in my hair. It was so peaceful and I felt so peaceful. I guess she got bored with the game because she turned the TV off and led me to her bedroom. She kissed me hard and I felt week. I could feel the strength in her.

I knew was going to get her strap-on and that she would use me. I was excited. It was like my sleepiness was gone.

She did fuck me and hard. She had me begging for more. She doesn't ask me to beg for that it just seems to happen. I was still locked in my chastity device but i could feel the dripping.

Finally she was finished. She allowed me to sleep with her in her bed. And when I awoke she had left for work. That is rare.

Somehow she knew exactly what I needed.

How does she do that?

<curtsy>


Cucking and Sucking

The rest of my weekend was quite intense. Jack stayed over again on Saturday. When I think back to Friday and Saturday I can't quite believe how much cum I swallowed. It's enough to make a sissy turn beet red.

It seems like he is always able to get hard and she seemed to never get fucked by him often enough. And then something new happened. After I had cleaned her I started to lick his cock clean.

I'll never get over how big he is or how he starts to get hard again so soon after he has an orgasm. This time Miss Emily instructed me to start on his balls. They seem huge to me. Much bigger than mine. I was told to suck them. That really felt strange.

Then I licked his cock and took it in my mouth. I could still taste her on. That excites me so much. I could feel my clit dripping in my panties. I could feel him getting harder.

I was going to stop as I had in the past but as I started to pull my mouth up I felt his hands on the back of my head. I ket sucking as he let go.

My jaw was getting sore. I could feel him getting harder. Then I felt his hands on my head again. I felt so small as he started to move his cock in an out of my mouth. And then I felt him tense. I knew he was about to cum. In my mouth. I'd never swallowed it like that before.

And then he came. It wasn't a huge load but it was hot and sticky. I swallowed to keep from gagging.

The he pushed me away. His cock slapped my nose. A drop of cum landed on my cheek.

I heard her laugh and say "you are such a little cum slut."

I know I blushed.

I find it amazing that when I am in the moment doing these things it feels natural. Later it embarrasses me.

Sunday was completely different, filled with a family visit and a night in which I was more wife than cuckold. I'll write about that later today.

<curtsy>



June 15, 2014

Nagging Questions?

One of my readers offered his (or is it hers? hard to day since the comment was anonymous) thoughts about my relationship with Miss Emily.

I admit I was shocked. Maybe I have not been clear enough about I fell about her. I adore her.  love her. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. Serving her needs comes naturally.

Despite that I do question myself. I always have. I don't know if that will ever change. Add to that the fact that I am coming to terms with the fact that I am better off as a wife and servant and I just can't help feeling what I am doing is against the way I was brought up.

For most of my life I imagined having a wife and a job and a family. But from the first time I met Miss Emily I wanted something else. She understood me better than I understood myself. It was so easy to be with her and to let her lead.

We have talked many times about our relationship. My place is clear as is hers. I tell her when I am upset or concerned or confused. I know she loves me by the way she cares for my feelings. That doesn't mean she does what I want her to do but she is aware of my safety and emotional well-being.

Having read about female-led relationships on the internet, I know what I have found is rare and beautiful. But I also know that is a long process for a sissy like me to accept the truth about herself.

I adore Miss Emily for showing me the way.

<curtsy>


June 14, 2014

More Cuckolding Thoughts

Last night was both difficult and exciting. As I mentioned in my last post, Miss Emily invited Jack over to watch the hockey game. I had little doubt he would spend the night. I'm still not used to being a cuckold. I wonder if I ever will be.

I can't deny how happy she is when they have sex. And I can't deny the mix of emotions her having sex with Jack causes me to feel. This time there was something new. He acted liked he belonged here. He's just so comfortable being with her just watching TV and talking.

All the while I know my places is as a maid. Maybe I should be used to all that by now. But I guess I'm not. Despite wondering if I really am destined to be a maid I can't help obeying Miss Emily and Jack.

I felt like I was in a daze as I brought them drinks and snacks. I felt like my mind was trying not to notice how close they were sitting and how often he kissed her. Then when there was a break in the game I was summoned to kneel before them.

I can't quite understand what was happening. Jack was giving the orders. That had happened a few times before. But I looked over at Miss Emily. She was so intense as she watched. I knew whatever was going to happen was important to her.

I was conflicted. I became very nervous and wanted to crawl in a hold. Hide. But I didn't want to disappoint her. I'll never understand how I can feel those things at the same time.

My task was simple. Strip him so he could, as put it, "satisfy your mistress sin ways you never could."

That made me feel so small. Mistress isn't a word Miss Emily ever used but I guess it fits. And I know what he said is true, but t still hurts for some reason.

I undressed him, starting with his shoes as I was told in earlier times he was here. I didn't forget to kiss each shoe before removing it. I was blushing the whole time. When I removed his pants I could see the outline of his hard cock against his boxers.

When I pulled them down the tip slapped my cheek. Miss Emily helped him take his shirt off. I sucked his cock to get him ready for her, planting a kiss on the tip first as she had taught me with her strapon.

I felt like I was a robot. But was excited. I felt a hand on my head and then a whisper in my ear. It was Miss Emily telling me I was being a good sissy.

I was pushed aside and Jack sat on the couch with Miss Emily mounting him. I watched as they fucked. It was hard and it was fast. She was cumming quickly. She must have been so ready for him.

Sone he was cumming. She sat there kissing him hard on the mouth. She was still wearing a T-shirt and nothing else.

As seems to be "normal" now I cleaned them both. She was so wet with his cum and her own juices. His cock was slick. I love the way it feels in my mouth. So hard and so soft at the same time. There's something I never expected to think about.

She slipped her panties on and he dressed with my help. She put her head on his shoulder as they watched the rest of the game.

They had sex twice more. Once before they slept and once this morning.

I admit to being confused now. Is he replacing me? She says she loves and adores me. But I have never seen her look like she does when he is fucking her hard.

Today they went to play tennis. I changed the sheets and cleaned her bathroom.

Something seems different but what it means I really don't know.

That seems to be the way things are for me in Miss Emily's world.

<curtsy>


June 13, 2014

Cuckolding and Jealousy

Maybe I'll never really get used to the idea of Miss Emily dating Jack. I can't deny that seeing her with him gets me excited. I know deep down I could never satisfy her the way he does. His cock is so much bigger,

The look on her face when he fucks her is something I'd never seen before. That made me jealous. But now something else has me feeling that way.

Tonight Jack is coming over to watch hockey. I don't know why but the idea of just watching TV with her makes me feel blue. I guess I am not even adequate for that. Of course, I know he'll probably do more than watch sports with her.

It's hard to express exactly what I feel about all this. I think years of keeping everything inside have made me reluctant to share those kinds of things.

And then there's the fact that since I found out about tonight's guest I haven't been able to stop thinking about his cock. It's so big and thick.

Am I so easy to manipulate that she has me thinking like a slut? I guess I am.

<curtsy.




At Her Feet

For one night there was no hockey. I was glad of that, but Miss Emily tells me there's a game tonight. I know here her attention will be.

But at least night she was in a good mood and allowed me to curl up on the floor while she watched TV after dinner. Don't even ask me what she was watching because I was too content being near her to care.

Not only was I at her feet, Miss Emily allowed me to worship them. I love the feel of her skin against my lips. Her feet are so beautiful. Isn't it strange that I feel lucky to be allowed to even touch them?

After I kissed and rubbed her feet she had me paint her nails. She chose a royal purple color, one of her favorites. I always take my time to make sure each nail looks perfect.

I was so excited I couldn't help hoping I would be allowed to cum. But I knew it wouldn't happen. Of course that didn't mean she wouldn't find satisfaction. Miss Emily masturbated when I had finished her nails.

I really wanted to taste her but she was content to have me watch her. It's so exciting and frustrating when she does that. But I am sure she knows that.

<curtsy>

June 12, 2014

Serving Others

Last night Miss Emily was home and that meant I was back to being a maid. This time, we weren't alone. She invited her sister over for dinner and to watch the hockey game. Her sister is every bit the dominant that Miss Emily is. She finds it amusing to out me on the spot.

Last night was no exception. Miss Emily had ordered me to dress in my French maid's uniform. That isn't unusual when company is over. When I answered the door i curtsied as I have been taught. I have spent hours practicing the correct way to show respect. But my curtsy wasn't good enough for Miss Amanda.

"is it the best you can do?" were her first words to me. She made me do it over ten times until she said "I suppose that will have to do." I can't explain how humiliating this was and how near to tears to I was. I was sure Miss Emily would be disappointed in me. But Miss Amanda didn't say anything, at least that I heard.

I served them dinner. I had prepared steak, asparagus and baked potatoes (which must be cooked in the oven not the microwave). Other than pouring wine and clearing dishes I was ignored as they talked the way sisters who are close do.

As always, my dinner, a salad and small slice of steak, waited until after they had finished. While they watched the game they continued to drink wine. Miss Amanda enjoys making me uncomfortable. At one point, she asked me how I felt about being a cuckold.

That was the first I knew that Miss Emily had shared that with her. I was kind of in shock I think. I couldn't think what to say. I looked to Miss Emily hoping she'd rescue me from having to answer. All I saw was the look she can give me that I know means I'd better obey.

I told her I was happy for Miss Emily and her desires were all that mattered. Miss Amanda said "You are fucking sissy." They both laughed.

I wanted to crawl in a hole. Yet I could fell a wet spot on my panties. I felt so pathetic.

The rest of the night they watched the game and I filled their wine glasses. Miss Amanda was a little drunk and Miss Emily insisted she stay in the guest room.

This morning I washed her clothes before she awoke and served her breakfast before she left for work. Miss Emily had left earlier.

I'll never understand why being treated like a servant excites me, but it does. sigh.

<curtsy>




June 11, 2014

A Servant Again

Miss Emily is finally back home after a business trip and much excitement about hockey. I'll never understand why people get so excited about sports. But she loves watching. So sometimes I watch, too. This was different though. This time she went to the games, In Los Angeles and New York, while I was home.

Last night I put on my French maid's uniform and put my hair up. I wanted to impress her. So what happened? She barely gave me a thought. Oh, I could see a look in her eyes of amusement when she first walked through the door. But for the evening I was her servant. She was cool and distant. Inside I was so excited she was home.

For some reason the more she treats me like a maid the more I need to please her. I guess she knows that. I'll never quite understand the relationship we have or why we both seem to crave it. Well, I know I crave her attention.

I am not quite sure what she craves, except for my submission. She has that. But no matter how hard I try to please her I fell like it's never enough. I wish I could be content more of the time.

<curtsy>




June 10, 2014

Not Always Easy

Getting used to all the changes that have occurred since I met Miss Emily is not always easy. Sometimes I can't believe that I have not fought them

I think the most difficult thing is the way people look at me in public. I think I expected people to stare and look at me like I was strange. But I never expected men to flirt with me. Not all men. It's only happened openly a couple times. I doubt I've ever blushed more.

The most recent time it happened was in the grocery store. An older man who was maybe in his 50s or 60s saw me reaching for an item on the top shelf. He came over and got it for me. That would have been sweet, but he had his arm around me and called me "sweetheart." I was embarrassed.

I only blushed harder when he asked if he could take me to lunch sometime. He told me how much he enjoyed being with "special girls." I could barely speak but stammered out that I was married.

I don't know what to think about the encounter. I know it was a compliment but I never thought of being with men really.

Miss Emily said I should get used to such attention.

<curtsy>

June 9, 2014

Almost Back to Normal

Miss Emily did make it home last night. It was late when she got home, about midnight. I wanted to surprise her by putting on my French maid uniform with the petticoats but I feel asleep. I didn't even hear her come in the door.

She thought it was cute that I wanted to dress that way for her. I was so thrilled to that she was home. She was so nice to me. I ended up sleeping on the floor next to her bed. I have no idea why that mad me feel so good and wanted. But it did.

Today she is back to work and I am doing all the laundry she brought home. Tonight will be another without her. She's going to the hockey game and then staying at her college roommate's apartment.

Then, I hope, things will really be back to normal.

<curtsy>

June 8, 2014

She's Coming Home!

After being gone most of the week, Miss Emily s coming home tonight. I am trying not to be too excited. She's coming home late and working tomorrow. And I'm trying not to even think about the fact that she's going to a hockey game tomorrow night.

I can't wait to see her. Things aren't the same here when she's away.

<curtsy>

June 6, 2014

On My Own, Sort of

Miss Emily is way on business this week. She won't be back until late Sunday. Usually when she's away she makes sure others are watching me. Her friend Amy or her mom or sisters. This time I am on my own.

I did have my hair done yesterday. It's no longer permed and the color is a lighter blonde now. It's strange being alone. I can stay up later and there's less housework to do. Certainly the laundry is done. And that's a relief after the washing machine broke. Besides the flood I had to clean up the dirty clothes piled up until a new one was delivered.

So here I am on my own. Except Miss Emily is always with me. If I am ever tempted to break some rule or another I can feel her disapproval. For some reason that comforts me. Isn't that strange.

<curtsy>

June 5, 2014

Commitment and Consequences

I was thinking about my post from yesterday and I realized that my second thoughts about being a sissy wife/servant brought a change to my relationship with Miss Emily.

I don';t think I even realized it for a long time, but after she called and forgave me her power over me was much greater. She exerted her control in new ways. I guess she knew I wouldn't dare disobey her.

Until that time I only wore panties when I was at her home. The day after I came back she gave me a gift. It was ten pairs of panties. She told me she wanted me to wear them at all times. I admit I swallowed hard. Maybe I should have know it would happen one day, but it seemed like such a big step.

As instructed I tossed all my male underwear in the garbage when I went home that night. I didn't have second thoughts. I was starting to really trust her. Or maybe I was afraid she'd leave me. I often wonder why she'd want me at all.

Looking back I can see that Miss Emily really took charge from that day. I wasn't expecting to wear a maid's uniform or live the life I am leading now. But since the wedding there's been no turning back.

I just have to keep trusting that she knows best.

<curtsy>


June 4, 2014

Committing to the Sissy Life

It might sounds strange but there was a time when I wasn't so sure I could be a sissy wife and maid. I had dreamed of being a man with a job and a wife and kids.  And even after Miss Emily started me on this path I was reluctant.

I even had second thoughts about spending my life as a servant after Miss Emily prosed to me. Of course I said yes when she asked me. I was in total shock. I had never thought she would want me. The proposal was romantic. She took me to dinner at a fancy restaurant. The kind of place I never went before I met her.

After dessert she asked me if I would be her sissy wife and maid. She gave me a box that contained a diamond anklet. I couldn't even think. I said yes. I spent that night in her bed pleasing her with my tongue. She even used her hand to stroke me to an orgasm.

But over the next couple of weeks I began to doubt that I wanted to be a sissy.She'd later said I was silly and in denial. I guess looking back it's true. I was wearing and the panties she had bought for me when I told her my doubts.

She was calm. She told me she wanted me to go home and think hard about it. Her calmness scared me even more I think. She told me not to contact her. She would call me.

Maybe I hadn't thought it through at all. After a week I knew I had made a mistake. Then I was sure she would never call me. I cried a lot and beat myself up. I endured another week before she called.

I wanted to be cool about it but instead I was begging her to forgive me. Her voice was light when she told me to get over to her home.

I did, wearing pink boy shorts, the anklet. I wore khakis and a white shirt. She never liked me in jeans. I wanted to please her so much at that moment.

I was barely in the door when I found myself on my knees begging her to take me back.

She did, obviously.

She told me all I needed to do was has trust that she new what was best for me. That's not always easy even though I know she's right. She always is.

<curtsy>


June 2, 2014

Life as a Servant

Sometimes I can't believe how my life has changed since i met Miss Emily. I had never imagined living as a servant, let alone a maid.

This weekend was typical. Except I had a lot of laundry to do. More than usual because the washer broke last week and it took a few days to get a new one delivered.

And then yesterday was Miss Emily's birthday. I am not allowed to but her presents but I did get her a dozen yellow roses, her favorite flowers. I spent a lot of time with my tongue buried in her pussy. Her favorite position is sitting on my face. It makes me feel like there is nothing else in the world but her dripping pussy.

The rest of the day included lunch with her family and then back home where Miss Emily relaxed and allowed me to sit at her feet while she watched baseball. Sports bore me but I always feel good when I am around her.

I guess that's what the life of a sissy maid/wife is about. Maybe someday I'll understand why I can't help wanting to please her.

<curtsy>

May 30, 2014

Poked, Prodded and Measured

Talk about total embarrassment! Today I went to the doctor for a physical, my first since starting my life as Mis Emily's sissy wife.

The office was professional and there were no other patients when we arrived. The receptionist checked us in and we waited only a couple minutes before the nurse called my name. She was in her 30s I'd guess and paid no attention to fact that I was a male dressed in capri slacks, a blouse a and wore makeup.

I followed to an examination room where I was instructed to strip to my panties and wait. Sitting there I realized I was still wearing my chastity cage. I felt embarrassed just thinking about the doctor seeing it.

The nurse cam back and weighed and measured me. I was relieved that I was down to 130 pounds. I knew Miss Emily would be pleased. Then I was left alone again.

Finally the door opened and the doctor walked in followed by Miss Emily. I hadn't expected that but maybe I should have. She did set up the appointment.

The doctor was a woman, in her mid to late 30s. She introduced herself and got down to business. She proceeded to poke prod and measure me. Miss Emily gave her the key to my chastity cage. My clit was measured. It was 2 5/8 inches soft.

All the communication was between the doctor and Mis sEmily. They talked about me like I wasn't even there. That made me feel small and insignificant, like a child. I should be used to that by now, but sometimes it still surprises me.

Then the real humiliation started. I was directed to lie on the table and put my feet in the stirrups. I'd never knew about this kind of exam. I learned. Wearing a rubber glove and using some lube the doctor put her index finger inside me. I was squirming as she moved it around.

All the while she was talking to Miss Emily in a professional manner about how often I am allowed to cum and how feminine I am. I thought I was turning deep red. I closed my eyes and wished I was somewhere else.

I heard Miss Emily laugh. I brought my attention back to the doctor's voice. I heard her talikng about how I was already dribbling cum from my clit. She asked if this was as hard as I could get. Miss Emily said that was "all there was." I could hear the laugh in her voice. I felt so ashamed.

Next thing I knew the doctor had removed her finger and was measuring my hard clit. It was 3 7/8 inches. I heard the doctor tell Miss Emily it was smallest of all her sissy patients. Could my cheeks feel any hotter?

The rest of the exam was routine except for a question the doctor asked Miss Emily. She told her I was good candidate for hormones and wondered if Miss Emily was planning to to that. The answer I heard through my foggy brain was that she wasn't sure.

I felt my stomach do flip flops and I really thought I might faint. I was wobbly as I dressed and they talked. I know i am Miss Emily's sissy wife and maid, but hormones are so, I don't know, permanent. The idea scares me.

<curtsy>


May 28, 2014

An Appointment

Miss Emily dropped what seems like a bombshell this morning. I don't know why it feels that way but it does. Tomorrow I am going to have a physical. I haven't seen a doctor since she started feminizing me.

Miss Emily assured me that the doctor has other sissy patients. That doesn't comfort me much. I wonder what the doctor and anyone else in the office will think of me. Maybe that's silly. Other have seen me but this seems like another big step.

Miss Emily is taking me to the doctor and that makes me feel like a child. But it's better than going alone. The appointment is early. That's when the doctor sees her sissy patients.

My stomach is already in knots. I doubt I'll sleep much tonight.

<curtsy>

A Long Day

Things were back to normal yesterday. Until the washer broke. Water was everywhere leaking from the bottom. It took me two hours to clean up the mess. Ugh.

I was so tired last night. At least Miss Emily allowed me to sit at her feet while she watched baseball. I fell asleep on the floor and didn't wake till she told me it was time for bed. It was 11, much later than usual for me to be sent to my room.

I wonder if she let me sleep there because the tough day.

The alarm cam to early. Now it's back to the routine, except of course the laundry. That will have to wait until a new machine is delivered. Miss Emily instructed me to go out shopping for one this afternoon. She said you might as well buy it, you're the one who uses it.

That's hard to deny.

<curtsy>

May 27, 2014

Emily's 2nd Date Continued

As time has passed since Miss Emily's 2nd date with Jack the details of it seem less important than what I felt and still feel.

Yes she spent the night. Yes I watched her have sex with him. She had that look I'd never seen before. She locked my eyes while I watched them. I was embarrassed and jealous and my penis was dripping in its cage.

Cleaning them both after he came added to my humiliation. It was clear I was a servant, there to amuse them both. Being dismissed to wash his clothes so they'd be ready in the morning added to the feeling I had of being small and insignificant.

Passing her bedroom door later I could hear them having sex again. I'm not sure if it was worse watching or being excluded. Isn't that strange?

I didn't sleep well. I kept thinking about that look on Miss Emily's face. And I thought of the taste of the cum as I cleaned her pussy and his cock.

The next morning I awoke late and found them eating breakfast in the kitchen. They were both relaxed and smiling. I felt like an outsider. They mostly ignored me as they chatted, ate and kissed at times.

It was after 11 when they said their goodbyes. A passionate kiss at the door made me jealous all over again. Hearing her called "darling" added to the feeling.

After I cleaned up the breakfast dishes, Miss Emily called me into her bedroom. She told me she was proud of me. Why does hearing that make all this seem worth it? 

Then she surprised me by unlocking my chastity cage. She told she wanted me to play with my "tiny cockette." I was allowed to cum when she gave me the word. She handed me the small plastic plate that she has trained me to cum on.

While I masturbated she talked about how good it felt to be fucked by Jack. She told me to remember how his cock felt in my mouth. I was almost crying and still I was hard. Finally she gave me the word. I spurted my "sissy juice" as she calls it onto the plate. I knew to lick it all up.

She looked so pleased. I cried.

<curtsy>

May 23, 2014

Miss Emily's Second Date

I mentioned in my last post that Miss Emily had gone on another date with her lover, Jack, who I must now always address as Sir. There had been a lot going on the last month and I had been able to put Miss Emily's first night with him far from my mind.

When she told me she needed a night with him my heart sank. To be honest, he scares me and I remembered how jealous I was the last time. There wasn't much point i  telling Miss Emily how I felt. She does as she pleases.

So I found myself late on Saturday afternoon drawing her bubble bath. Seeing her naked always takes my breath away. My little clit stirred in its cage. I haven't been allowed to cum since our California trip. Drying her after her bath was thrilling and difficult. I couldn't help planting a kiss on her slit. It was moist and smelled musky. I heard her chuckle as she patted my head. I felt so small.

Helping her dress and watching her do her makeup made me feel jealous again. When she was almost done I was told to put on my French maid's uniform. That's how I answered the door. I felt so embarrassed. I took his coat, offered him a drink and went to get Miss Emily.

I was almost in tears. Miss Emily told me to pull myself together. She said there was no reason to be jealous. I guess she's right. But I couldn't help it.

Watching him kiss her was humiliating.

And then they left. He has his arm around her waist. I was ordered to stay in uniform and be ready to serve when they returned.

The next two hours passed slowly.

I have housework to do so I'll have to continue this later.


May 21, 2014

It's Been Awhile

Miss Emily wanted me to post a quick update. We have been dealing with some family illnesses and other problems that have kept me offline. I hope to be posting again soon about my life as Miss Emily's sissy wife. There have not been many changes there, although she did have a second date with her man. I will give the details later. I'll just say it was humiliating.

April 14, 2014

More Change

I thought I was going back to Miss Emily's mother's tonight, but that has changed. I will staying home tonight and then I will be going to Miss Emily's sister's home. I've never stayed there before, but I was told to pack my uniforms. So it looks like I will be performing maid service.

I have never been at Miss Katherine's home overnight so I don't know what to expect. She is dominant like Miss Emily but she never pays much attention to me. I don't think she thinks much of sissies.

I am not sure how long I'll be there, but Miss Emily told me she expects me to be a good girl and that if she gets a good report about my behavior she might allow me to cum. It's been since our honeymoon. I am going to try to be good.

<curtsy>


Punished

This is so embarrassing to write about, but Miss Emily insists. I was pushed with 30 smacks of a belt today because my attitude was not cheerful enough. The worst part was feeling like I had let her down. I didn't mean to and after a half hour of corner time I understood I need to be better to please her.

As always after a punishment I ended up kneeling with my head in her lap sobbing. She is always forgiving. I don't know if I deserve her.

<curtsy>

A New Routine

Here it is Monday and I am back home doing laundry and cleaning. I guess that's the new routine. I still have to go back to Miss Emily's mother's home for a a few more days. I'm not sure for how long.

I have been kept the last week in a jumper with knee sock and maryjanes how. It's been humiliating and boring at times. But it's not up to me. Maybe I will be back home living the life of a amid/wife soon. I hope so.

<curtsy>

April 8, 2014

Home for a Day

I am back home for one day to do Miss Emily's laundry. Then it will be back to her mother's home and life as a child.

It's been tiring playing with dolls, learning little girl games and being given juice boxes. Her mother enjoys washing my mouth out with soap and seeing me cry.

It seems to me I have been there for weeks but it's only been a few days.

It makes me wonder if Miss Emily really needs me.

<curtsy>

April 1, 2014

More Changes

I found at last night that Miss Emil has business trips planned over the next couple of weeks. Usually that means I stay home and take care of the house. This time she has decided I will stay at her mother's. For two weeks I will be treated like a little girl. I'd rather be home but as always it's not up to me.

<curtsy>

March 31, 2014

Random Thought

Whenever Miss Emily changes our relationship in some big way I am always left wondering why I go along with it, even crave it. I guess I wonder why I am a sissy. The funny thing is I can't imagine being manly. I used to think about being with a woman as a man, but I guess it's obvious that won't happen. No one was ever interested in me that way.

I know I need her control, but I wish I knew why.

<cursty>

Back to Cleaning

After the crazy, intense weekend I am back to the routine. I was reminded of my place in this household when I spilled coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor this morning. Ugh. Without thinking I scrubbed the entire floor. I know Miss Emily expects perfection. I need to be more careful!

One interesting thing today is that usually I wear a black work uniform. Today Miss Emily told me to wear pink. I rarely wear this uniform. It's same as the black ones except for the color and my lingerieswith it.

<curtsy>

More Cuckold Thoughts

I still can't believe I actually sucked a real cock. I still feel like it is in my mouth. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away?

I have begun to remember what happened when Miss Emily and her date came home on Saturday night. He treated me like a servant. That's not surprising. I was wearing a French maid's uniform. He made me feel so small.

They didn't pay much attention to me after I took their coats. He was kissing her and their hands were all over each other. They headed to her bedroom and Miss Emily told me to follow. I could barely walk. My legs were shaking and my stomach was churning.

Once in her room she ordered me to take off my petticoats. She got the key to my chastity device and unlocked me. Jack laughed when he saw how tiny my clit is. He said he couldn't believe it. I wanted to crawl in a hole or run away.

She told me to stand in the corner and keep my hands away from my clit and just watch. Then they were all over each other. They were soon naked. I couldn't believe how big his cock was. I had only seen other cocks in the locker room at school.

He was so forceful and she was on her back when his cock entered her. My clit was so hard. I felt shame. But I couldn't stop staring. She was moaning and then she locked eyes with me. I swear she mouthed "I love you" to me. It is so confusing to me.

When he finally came she called me over. I ended up between her thighs cleaning her pussy. There was so much cum. My face was covered with it. I could smell her and him mixed together.

Then she had me clean his cock. He was laughing and calling me names. I even sucked his balls. That felt so weird in my mouth. They were huge. When he was hard again I was sent back to the corner and watched her ride his cock.

After I cleaned her a second time I was sent off to bed. It was late and I didn't sleep much. My mind was racing.

<curtsy>

March 30, 2014

A Bet

I said earlier that I don't like sports. Maybe that's why Miss Emily insisted we bet on the Michigan game against Kentucky. She made me pick a team. I picked Michigan because I liked the gold color of their uniforms.

Miss Emily said if Michigan wins I can lick her pussy tonight. If they lose I get a spanking with the paddle of her choice.

Michigan is winning so far. I think she wins either way.

<curtsy>

Cuckold Thoughts

Miss Emily has been watching basketball today. I don't have a clue about sports. She has allowed me to lie with my head in her lap while she watches. I am even dressed in capris and a peach pullover. She's in her old sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She is so relaxed today.

She has been questioning me about last night. She told me to post here. It's still mixed up but I can't stop thinking about that cock or the taste of his cum in Miss Emily's pussy.

She says it proves I am a sissy. She says I make her proud. I never have taken compliments well. I feel humiliated. Being excited by being called names embarrasses me.

And then there was the look on her face while he fucked her. I never saw that before. She locked eyes with me and I wanted to look away but couldn't.

I know this will take time to understand and cope with. I know I adore Miss Emily.

<curtsy>

I am a Cuckold

I am a cuckold.

There I said it. It almost doesn't seem real. It's hard to think right now. I am kind of floating. But it seems so permanent. I mean wearing girl's clothes seems less of a big thing.

Miss Emily is so pleased. That feels good. But last night was intense. Maybe I knew it would happen someday, but now it did. I sucked a man's cock for the first time. Not a rubber one. A real one. It throbbed in my mouth and it grew.

I was scared. But it seemed right once I started.

And it was difficult too. I heard him calling me names. And I heard Miss Emily laughing when he did. It seemed different than when she used those names, This was a man calling me them. Someone I really don't know. It hurt but made my little clit hard. And Miss Emily noticed that.

And I tasted a man's cum for the first time. It was in Miss Emily's pussy.

I don't know what else to say. The memories of last night are kind of mixed up right now.

<curtsy>

March 29, 2014

Miss Emily's Date Starts

Waiting all day was horrible but seeing Miss Emily with her date was even worse. Now they are gone and I am left waiting again.

Miss Emily ordered me to post about the day.

I was back in uniform doing laundry, changing her bed. That made me think about what was going to happen. I had changed the linens yesterday.

Miss Emily rested and after she got up she had me help her get ready for her date. I ran her bath, dried her off and painted her toes while she did her makeup. She doesn't wear much. She doesn't need to. She is so lovely.

Then I helped her dress. She wore black lace panties, garter belt and black stockings with a half bra that pushed her breasts up. A strapless black dress was over it. When she stepped into her panties I couldn't help but kiss her pussy. I was lucky she was not angry.

When she stepped into her three-inch pumps she looked like a goddess. Even more than usual. She added diamond studs and a diamond necklace. I was in awe.

Then she had me change into a black French maid's uniform with petticoats.I always wear a coset that has stays in int and ruffled panties with that uniform. Miss Emily laced the corset. It makes breathing difficult but she likes the way it gives me a figure.

Then the doorbell rang. I was told to answer it. I thought I was going to be sick. I was reminded again to treat her date with the same respect I treat her and to call him "sir."

I could barely make it to the door. I felt wobbly and I was shaking. I could barely breathe. I opened the door and stammered out "welcome, sir. please come in." He was just as tall as I remembered. I couldn't help feeling silly wearing a maid's uniform in front of him.

I couldn't look in his face but I heard him laugh when I curtsied. He walked in and I took his coat and hung it up. I told him Miss Emily would be a minute and showed him to the den and offered him a drink.

H e wanted wine. After I brought it to him he asked me to turn around. I was so embarrassed. I felt so weak. I felt worse when Miss Emily entered the room. Her date, Jack, stood up and they embraced. he kissed her on the lips. It made me wonder if they had done that before.

I got Miss Emily a glass of wine and they sat together on the couch. I thought about how I was sitting there last night.

They ignored me as they chatted. I noticed his hand on top of hers. I felt jealous and humiliated.

I heard him say he was impressed at how she had trained me and it was obvious I was better off as a maid.

She just laughed. I thought my cheeks were burning with shame.

Their glasses were almost empty and I offered them more wine. They both declined. He said they had a dinner reservation and had to leave. When I curtsied he laughed.

I got their coats and helped them put them on. Miss Emily told me to be a good girl and post about this. She said to stay in uniform until they returned. She kissed me on the cheek. I could feel myself blushing.

When they left I felt empty. I just started sobbing. I felt so alone. After I stopped crying I redid my makeup and washed and put away the wine glasses.

Now I am just waiting and trying not to think about what Miss Emily has planned for later.

<curtsy>



The Cuckold Path

I actually don't want to write about this but Miss Emily has ordered me to.

I was afraid Miss Emily had something big in mind when she texted me yesterday and told me she needed to have a talk with me when she got home. That doesn't happen much and neither does her telling me she wanted to see her wife. I am almost always in a maid's uniform at home.

Deciding what to wear is always hard for me. I have a few outfits but I always worry she won't approve. I had trouble but Misty helped me choose a pink linen dress while we chatted. It's sleeveless and comes just above the knee. It shows off the necklace Miss Emily gave me.

I have to wear a corset to fit into it. It's uncomfortable but it makes feel pretty and more feminine. I added a little more makeup than usual and put my hair up. I usually wear studs but for some reason I decided to wear the drop earrings. They felt heavy.

Then I waited for Miss Emily to come home. I was fidgeting and tired. I had tried to take a nap but I was too nervous to sleep.

When she got home I she had a big smile on her face. She kissed me and told me I was pretty. I felt so good hearing that. She whispered in my ear and I could feel her hand rubbing my butt through the dress. She told me we needed to talk and that if I was a good little sissy wife she might fuck me with her strap-on later.

I moaned. I wished I hadn't. It makes me feel silly. She laughed a little and gave me her coat. She told me to get us each a glass of wine and meet her in the den. She rarely allows me to drink and this made my stomach churn more. I was truly worried.

I could barely carry the wine into the den. My hands were shaking. She actually told me to sit next to her on the couch. That doesn't happen much. I usually am sitting at her feet.

I was surprised that she seemed nervous. She is always so confident. I wondered if she wanted me to leave or something. I felt sick. She stroked my cheek. That felt good. But I thought I might cry.

She told me she loved me but that she has needs a sissy could never fulfill. I knew what was coming and the tears started to flow. She stroked my cheek again and held my hands in hers. I felt awful thinking about what she was saying.

She said she was going on a date tonight. I think I closed my eyes and tried not to think. I felt so bad. She told she was going with her partner at work. I'd met him a long time ago when I worked at the office. I didn't remember much but I know he was tall and looked athletic. Not a sissy.

After she told me Miss Emily put her arms around me. I started sobbing. I felt like a child. She tried to comfort me. Had me blow my nose and drink some more wine.

The rest of the evening is hard to remember. She talked about how she wanted me to help her get ready for her date. I know she told me she expected me to be an obedient sissy.

We ate dinner. I was allowed to eat pizza and have more wine. After that Miss Emily took me to her bedroom and kissed me softly.

Then she used her cock on me. She was gentle and fucked me slowly. I was locked up but I could feel my clit dripping.

And then she allowed me to stay in her bed all night. I didn't sleep much. My mind was racing.

Now Miss Emily is getting her hair done.

I know I don't have a choice but this is a scary day.

<curtsy>





March 28, 2014

A Mystery

I am feeling very nervous now and jittery. Miss Emily texted me and told me she wants to talk to me tonight. This is unusual and leaves me wondering what she has planned.

My anxiety is worse because she told she wanted to see her wife when got home. That means I have to decide what to wear. It's so much easier to be her maid.

I think I will wear a new skirt and jacket she bought me in San Francisco. It has a camisole top. I hope she approves.

<curtsy>

Answering Questions

A reader of my At the Salon post asked a few questions.

I was allowed to penetrate Miss Emily once, although she says it doesn't count because she didn't feel anything and she did not allow me to cum. She says I am a virgin. I'll let you decide.

As for Miss Emily, she has been with men before she met me and I think one day she will want to do that again. She has not mentioned it in quite a while, so I am not sure what she is thinking about cuckolding me.

I try not to think about it. I always want her to be happy but the idea makes my stomach churn and I think it would make me jealous. That probably sounds crazy considering I know she'll never allow me to penetrate her again.

<curtsy>

Working Day

I often have no clue why Miss Emily gives me the orders she does. I spend most of my weekdays cleaning the house. She always expects things to be done perfectly.

This morning she told me she wanted the whole house scrubbed and dusted today. I'm not sure if she is disappointed in my work this week. She usually would let me know if she was. I spent the morning vacuuming, dusting and cleaning bathrooms. I only have the kitchen left.

It's a lot of work especially after a short night's sleep.

<curtsy>

March 27, 2014

At the Salon

Yesterday I went to the salon. It was time to have my hair done. Miss Emily has been having me grow it out. It looked feminine before yesterday but now it is even more so.

I got a perm. My first one. I didn't know I was getting it. Miss Emily had talked to the woman who does my hair. I guess it wasn't any of my business. A lot of things aren't.

I thought it smelled awful although that is mostly gone now. I have darker highlights on my blonde hair and light curls. And now my earrings show more. I have two in each ear.

At the grocery story yesterday I definitely got some looks and one man hit on me. He was older and it made my stomach churn a little. He called me me sweetie and had his hand on my arm. I stammered that I had to go. He let me do that.

<curtsy>

Answering Questions

Sissy Dede asked me to comment about when Miss Emily first started to feminize me and what made her start. I have written a little bit about how she had me in a pinafore apron on our first date.

I didn't know it then but she had been looking for a sissy to train as her wife and maid. She has said from the first time I came to work as a temp in her office that she knew I was the sissy she wanted to own.

She did not feminize me quickly, but took her time. I never wore a maid's uniform until after our wedding. She did have me in panties before that and for our wedding I wore a white linen suit with satin corset, panties and stockings underneath. All were white.

Over the last nine months she has increased my feminization. My body is waxed and smooth and yesterday my hair was permed for the first time.

Everything she does makes me look and feel less male.

I hope this answers your questions.

<curtsy>

Punished

This morning I was punished for not answering the question put here by Sissy Dede. Miss Emily had me bend over a chair and used her leather covered paddle on my butt. 25 smacks later I was sobbing. For some reason yesterday I just didn't feel like writing here. But as with everything what I feel like doesn't matter.

<curtsy>

March 25, 2014

Sex and the Sissy

It's been almost week since I was allowed to cum and Miss Emily has not even allowed me to lick her. That seems strange, doesn't it?

But there have been long periods before where sex has not been part of my life serving her. My chastity cage reminds me of sex all the time but there's not much I can do about it.

Not that what I want matters anymore.

Why do I love her so much? It's a mystery.

March 24, 2014

Family Influences

Sometimes I wonder why I am a sissy and why Miss Emily is a dominant. Were we born this way or did we learn it? Maybe both. I don't really know.

I do know that I am small for a male. And my penis is mall, too. No wonder it's called a clit now. Girls were never interested in me as anything more than a friend. I never knew my father and was raised by my mom. I have a sister who is three years older than me.

I was always expected to do housework and help with cooking. There was never anything kinky about it. It's just the way it was. Mom and my sister fully support how Miss Emily is training me. When I am in uniform they seem to have no trouble treating me as a servant. At other times I am another daughter or sister. I think they like me more this way.

Miss Emily was raised in a female dominant home. Her father obeys her mother. As I have said earlier here he is not a sissy but he is obedient. He and Miss Emily's brother did all the housework and served.

I have only met her brother a couple of times. He is away at school. He pretends he is not submissive but when any of the women of the family give him a hard look he obeys instantly.

Of course Miss Emily's mother and sister support her training me. It seems like everyone in my world does now.

<curtsy>



Just a Maid

After the weekend of housework and humiliation everything is back to normal. If this can be called normal.

My alarm went off at 5:15 and I had Miss Emily's breakfast ready by 6:30. I helped her dress and after she left I got to work cleaning her bathroom, changing her bed and washing her sheets. It's really the first time in two weeks that I am back to my routine.

Growing up I never would have imagined being a maid. But here I am.

<curtsy>

March 23, 2014

Serving & Humiliation

Miss Emily made sure I knew my place this weekend just in case being sent to my room early on Friday wasn't enough.

Once a week I clean the apartment of Miss Emily's friend, Miss Amy. Because we were away I missed a week. I spent yesterday cleaning her apartment and doing her laundry. Two weeks worth of laundry. I spent eight hours there while Miss Emily and Miss Amy went out to play tennis and enjoy the day.

While they ate dinner, which I cooked for them, I hand washed Miss Amy's laundry. That took two hours to complete. When we got home I was sent to bed at 8 p.m. But the humiliation for the day wasn't over. Miss Emily dressed me in pajama's that looked like some a little girl would wear.

It was embarrassing, but I didn't think much about it. I was tired from the housework and feel asleep holding the pink bear she put in my arms when she tucked me in.

When I awoke there was a note in the bathroom telling me to dress in the clothes in the box on the counter. Inside was a complete outfit like a little girl would wear, a pink lacy dress, white tights, ruffled panties and pink shoes.

I felt my stomach turn as  I dressed after I took a shower. Miss Emily came in and said how adorable I looked. She handed me the bear and told me to follow her. She had me sit on the kitchen floor while she started to cook.

I felt ignored as she started cooking. I knew it was too much food for her and on my diet I wasn't likely to get any pancakes, eggs or bacon. Then the doorbell rang. I wanted to crawl in a hole.

Miss Emily came back and I could hear her talking. She was with her parents. Her mother had seen me dressed like a child before but I still felt humiliated. She was smirking as she looked at me. I felt like crying.

Then Miss Emily's sister showed up. While they ate I sat on the floor near Miss Emily playing with a plastic tea set. Miss Emily's father served the meal but he was allowed to sit at the table. While he did the dishes the worst part of the day came.

Sunday is always punishment day and Miss Emily decided her mother and sister would be a part of it. I was made to stand before her and lower my panties and tights. They had a good laugh at my new pink chastity cage. Miss Sara, her sister, is usually mean to me and she loved seeing it.

I ended up over the knee of each while I was paddled. After a half hour in the corner I thanked them for punishing me.

After they left it was back to my maid's uniform.

<curtsy>



March 22, 2014

Sent to My Room

Last night Miss Emily sent me to my room right after I had served her dinner. Usually she allows me to sit at her feet for a time but sometimes she just wants to be alone. I admit it hurts to be sent to my room like a child. But I don't have much choice.

Miss Emily says sissies are like children and she treats me like one. Such is my life now.

<curtsy>

March 21, 2014

The Power of Words

I wish I knew why just a few words from Miss Emily can make me feel so good. All she has to say is "good girl" and I find myself almost floating.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not respond that way, but I can't help myself. And if she says I was "naughty" or was a "bad girl" I feel the opposite. The worst is if I disappoint her.

Do other sissies feel the same way? I wonder about that sometimes.

<curtsy>

Answering Questions

Phred asked a few questions after my last post and I thought I'd answer them here.

I do wear makeup, but usually not much, just a very light rose lip gloss, eye liner and foundation. Miss Emily likes me to look like a sissy, but when I am in my French maid's uniform I wear full makeup. She prefers a natural look.

My hair style has changed, It started as a pixie cut, but now I wear it pulled back and tied with a pink ribbon or scrucnhie. It's now halfway down my neck. I am a natural blonde.

I don't know about children. That would be up to Miss Emily. In any case, I am sure I will stay at home.

<curtsy>

March 20, 2014

Back to a Maid's Life

I have been working through the laundry today and Miss Emily has put me back on a strict diet. I have to weigh myself every morning and when I stepped on the scale today I found I was up to 137 pounds. That's two pounds more than before the honeymoon.

Miss Emily wants me to get down to 130. So it's back to yogurt for breakfast, fruit for lunch and salad for dinner. Sometimes I am allowed scraps from Miss Emily's plate.

I know it's been that way since the wedding, but after the trip it is taking some getting used to.

<curtsy>

Romance and Humiliation

I am back from California and it was quite a trip. Miss Emily treated me like her bride. We had some candlelight dinners and she even allowed me to drink wine, which I am usually not allowed to do. The first glass was on the plane. I had never flown before and I was pretty nervous.

I had six orgasms while we were gone. Each time I licked up my sissy cream. Miss Emily loves to see me do that. She used her strap-on on every day we were gone and also had me lick her till she had two or three orgasms.

Being in San Francisco was different. Stores we went into didn't have any problem waiting on me. Miss Emily purchased several outfits for me. My favorite I think is a pink linen suit. It has pants and a skirt.

Besides the romance, which included a trip to Carmel for two days, Miss Emily found ways to humiliate me. One afternoon she took me to a store that sells fetish clothing. The women there dressed me in different outfits. One was a plaid schoolgirl dress with knee socks and mary jane shoes. Hearing them tell Miss Emily how men would just love a sissy dressed like that had me nearly in tears.

I also got a new chastity cage. It's pink. One of the women at the store suggested it. She laughed when she saw me unlocked and that I needed an extra small cage.

The most humiliating thing that happened was in a bar one evening. I don't know if Miss Emily planned it or not. A man came over and told Miss Emily what a cute sissy I was. They started talking and he bought us drinks. He was older. I think maybe 60 or so. He started asking me questions. I was so embarrassed when he asked me if I had ever sucked a man's cock. I told him I had never touched one.

He told me how special I was and took my hand placed it on his crotch. He rubbed my hand across it and I could feel his cock jump. It felt so big. A lot bigger than mine. I didn't realize it even but he took his hand off mine. Then he said to Miss Emily that I must like touching his cock because I kept rubbing it. They both laughed. I felt so ashamed.

 I was glad it didn't go any farther.

One other thing that happened is I got my first tattoo. It's a chain of pink daisies around my left ankle.

I think I am still thinking about everything that happened on the honeymoon. I will write more later.

Today it's back to housework and lots of laundry.

<curtsy>

March 14, 2014

A Quick Update

Miss Emily wanted me to post something about our trip. It was a big surprise. I had no idea where we were going until we got to the airport. She took me to San Francisco. It's been amazing.

It's kind a of a delayed honeymoon. Miss Emily has made good use of her strap-on and even allowed me to cum all three times she has fucked me. She practically raped my throat and my pussy the first night. She loves hearing me gagging on her cock.

Last night we went to a bar. It was like I fit right in. There were other sissies and women and a few men. A couple of the men made me feel like I was being checked out. I was pretty embarrassed. And some of the women told Miss Emily she had done a good job of training me. That made me blush.

I don't know what else Miss Emily has planned. I adore  her so much.

<curtsy>

March 11, 2014

Taking a Break

I just wanted to let everyone know I will be away for a week or so starting tomorrow. Miss Emily is taking me on a little trip. It's quite a treat to be allowed to travel with her. And I will love having time alone with her.

<curtsy>

The Wedding Night

Miss Emily has asked me to post about the first time she used her strap-on on me. It was our wedding night. And yes I was a virgin. I had never penetrated a woman or been penetrated other than by Miss Emily's fingers.

At our hotel she had me go in the bathroom to get ready. She told me to wear what I found there. What I found was a white box tied with a big pink bow. Inside was a white lace nightie. It was short. It had a matching garter belt, panties and white stockings.

I was shaking as I put the clothes on. My penis was hard inside the lace panties, although there was only a small bump there. I decided to slip on the white shoes I had been wearing. They had a two inch heel. There was a tube of pink lip gloss on the counter. I used it. Looking in the mirror I felt embarrassed and excited.

When I walked out to the bedroom I saw Miss Emily with her back to me. As I approached her she turned. I looked from her face down toward her feet. I was shocked by the lifelike dildo she was wearing. It was long and thick. She later told me it 8 inches.

She stepped toward me and pulled me to here in her arms. She kissed me hard on the mouth. I felt so weak. I could feel her dildo against my stomach as her hands squeezed my butt. She broke the kiss and told me how pretty I was. How perfect my mouth would look on "her cock."

Her hands pushed on my shoulders and I found myself on my knees. She told me to kiss the head of her cock. I did. I was so scared and nervous. Then she told me to worship it. As I did she told me what a good little bitch I was and that I was made to suck a cock.

I knew she was going to fuck me but I tried not to think about that. At one point she grabbed my hair and rammed the cock in an out of my mouth. I could her moaning. I felt violated. But I wanted her to keep doing it. Strange to feel that way.

Finally she pulled away and said it's time to consummate our marriage. She took my hand and led me to the bed. She slipped my panties off and had me get on my back. She used pillows to prop up my hips and lubed me. I could feel the coldness of the lube as her fingers worked inside me.

Finally I watched as she lubed her cock. I was shaking and ready to cry. She stroked my face and told me I was going to love being fucked.

She bent my knees and pushed my legs back. I felt the head of her cock at my hole. I begged her not to to do this. She said "hush." She locked her eyes on mine. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. Without warning she shoved her cock inside me. I cried out and the tears flowed down my cheeks.

That made her smile even more as she started to push deeper in side me. Then she started fucking me. She was rough and relentless. She stroked my little cock (my clit, now) and told me not to dare cum till she gave permission.

Despite my tears I started to meet her thrusts. She pulled mostly out and stopped. I wanted to feel her penetrate me again. She just waited. Staring at me. Daring me in a way. Finally, I begged her to fuck me.

I kept begging until she started again. Finally, she told me to cum. She moved her hand off my clit and then I came all over my stomach. She fed me my cum. And then she pulled out of me.

I was sobbing. I was scared, humiliated and excited all at once. I fell asleep as she held me. She fucked me in the middle of the night and I came again.

In the morning I received my wedding present from her. A cb-6000 chastity belt. That was a shock.

But i was different now. I was more broken by her in a way that I hadn't been before. I felt humiliated and yet I adored her even more.

<curtsy>


March 10, 2014

Who Are You?

I'm just curious about who is reading about my journey to becoming a sissy maid/wife. I have posted a poll at the top of my page on the right side to try to find out.

Please let me know what brought you here. If you'd like, you can leave a comment.

<curtsy>

A Little Detail

This is something Miss Emily taught me to do the first time she dressed me in a maid's uniform: curtsy. Whenever I am in uniform, I am required to do that when entering or leaving a room she is in. I also must back out of the room facing her at all times. I had to practice doing a curtsy for hours until I did it the way she wanted every single time.

It's a sign of respect and it reminds me who is in charge. For a sissy wife/maid nearly everyone is superior. I think that's just the way of the world.

Since meeting Miss Emily I have slowly begun to accept my status. I never imagined I'd be a maid or that I'd crave any attention from her, even humiliation.

But here I am. I don't think there's any going back.

<curtsy>

A Sissy Routine

I thought some of you might be interested in how I spend my days. As Miss Emily's wife and maid I naturally take care of all the housework, much of the cooking and making sure the groceries are bought and house is in good order.

Miss Emily is strict and demanding about my chores. She expects everything to be completed on time and to perfection. Mistakes usually cause me to have to do a chore over. Sometimes I am spanked or paddled. I have even had to write sentences in a notebook like "a sissy maid must complete her chores on time."

I don't mind doing housework. I did it growing up. But until I became Miss Emily's wife I never was much of an early riser. Now my day starts at 5:30. I must be bathed and dressed in my uniform by 6 so I can have her breakfast ready by 6:30. My uniform is one meant for work and I have them in different colors, black, pink and yellow. I always wear a waist cincher, bra, panties and stockings along with tow-inch heels.

This is my favorite part of the day. I serve her in her bedroom. Most days she is awake when I knock on her door. After she eats I get to help her dress. I get to see her naked and feel the warmth of her skin. It's an intimate moment for me. It makes me feel needed.

Once she is dressed and off to work, I begin my chores. On different days I concentrate on different tasks. Monday and Fridays I always wash her bed linens. I clean her bathroom everyday and put out fresh towels.

I have her dinner ready so she can eat at 7. I eat in the kitchen when she is finished.

The only day during the week that's different is Thursday. Every week I clean the home of Miss Emily's best friend. It's not too hard, but Miss Amy leaves a week's worth of laundry so it takes all day.

Weekends are more relaxed and often I am more a wife than maid. I am even allowed at times to sit at the dinner table with her. On Sunday I am punished for any mistakes I made during the week, although I can be spanked at any time she sees fit.

I'd love to hear from other sissies and Dommes/Doms about their lives.

March 9, 2014

About Humiliation

The questions that Florida Dom asked regarding my last post made me start thinking about a big aspect of my life as a sissy wife/maid. That's humiliation. Miss Emily loves to see me blush, stammer and even cry.

And for some reason, while I dislike the feeling at first, I crave the feeling of being humiliated, too.

Once Miss Emily began feminizing me there was no way to hide my status from the world. Since our wedding last July, I have not worn any male clothes. I do have ladies slacks and blouses that aren't obviously feminine at a glance, but that's about as close to male clothes as I get.

Because of that friends and family know all about my status in our marriage. Miss Emily does little to hide it. I thought meeting her parents was humiliating. I was dressed in peach colored capris, a white sheer blouse with cap sleeves and sandals that showed my peach nails. Her mother loved Miss Emily's choice of a sissy.

After some questioning about my family and life I was put to work serving coffee. I was shaking like a leaf. I also found out that Miss Emily's father was submissive to his wife. He is not a sissy, but it's clear who is in charge.

As punishment for acting like a child, I was dressed as a 3 year old and had to act that way for a weekend. I wanted to crawl into a hole when her mother came to babysit. She talked to me about how naughty girls needed to learn their place. It was a long evening.

And then there's my mother and sister. They both adore Miss Emily and compliment her on the control she has taken and the way she is training me.

That's just a little bit of the humiliation I endure.

Needing Control

It might sound strange to most people, but for me the control I get from Miss Emily is what attracts me to serving her. I have read other sissies who sign contracts that spell out the rules and the expectations. Miss Emily, even though she is a lawyer, has not done that.

There is only one rule I need to remember. That's obedience. Disobeying her has consequences. The first time she had me lower my pants and undershorts for an over the knee spanking was humiliating. She had me crying just by using her bare hand. And then I spent an hour in the corner with my pants around my ankles. Apologizing to her while on my knees and telling her what I had learned made me shrink even more before her power.

That was our fourth date and I had refused to put on the apron. Sometimes I wonder why I so easily obeyed her order to to get over her knee. She says I am a natural submissive and that without guidance and control I will spend all day masturbating. It's all part of being a sissy I guess.

I do know that in the two years I have known Miss Emily, I have learned that my greatest satisfaction comes when she is pleased. Just hearing her say "good girl" or feeling her kiss on my forehead thrills me.

March 8, 2014

First Steps

When I met my wife I never imagined I would marry her or anyone for that matter. I was 20 years old and working for a temp agency doing office work. In high school I had a few dates, but girls always treated me more like a friend. I was a virgin.

The woman I now call Miss Emily was lovely and smart. She was 28 and a lawyer at a small firm. I worked at her firm for three months. I didn't realize it till later but she took control of me almost from my first day. She would correct my work and ask me to explain how I could do better. Praise would come in the form of hearing her say, "good boy."

On days I had no contact with her I felt like something was missing. I found I craved her correction as much as her praise. Looking back now it seems obvious she knew it, too. At the time I just wanted her attention.

On my last day she took me to lunch. She was very nice and I was blushing and could barely speak. She told me I was avery special boy and that she wanted me to come to her house for dinner on Saturday night.

There was no way I could have said no. She laughed when I blurted out my yes to her invitation.

That first date was when my training began. Miss Emily cooked but I did the dishes while she waited in her den. She even had me wear an apron I later found out was called a pinafore.

My life had changed and I didn't even know what was happening. I felt lucky that she would spend her time on me.

First Thoughts

Hello, world.

My Mistress/wife, Miss Emily, has allowed me to start a blog where I can discuss the journey I have been on learning to be her sissy maid/wife.

Miss Emily says the moment she met me she knew I was the sissy she had been looking for. I thought she was beautiful and I could barely speak to her even as I worked as a temp in her office. I guess that proves her point.

For the record, I am short and at 5'5 an inch shorter than Miss Emily and I am quite slender at 136 pounds.. I was always teased growing up for my lack of masculinity. Maybe growing up in a household with my mom and an older sister prepared me to serve women. Maybe I am a born sissy. I don't think I'll ever know for sure.

I want to share my experiences and hear from others about theirs.